How to Cope With the Moving of Adult Children & Grandchildren

Stay close to your adult children and grandchildren in spite of a move.

Children don't stay small forever. They become adults and give their parents the gift of grandchildren. Holidays mean a full table at Grandma's and a house full of family. We take the presence of our adult children for granted until a new job offer or other opportunity brings about a move. Suddenly, life without our children or grandchildren looms before us. Take heart -- we lived without our children before they were born. Coping with the move means keeping as close as we can while enjoying a new phase of life.

Instructions

1. Develop your support circle before your adult children move. Your friends can lend a shoulder to cry on and share their own life experience. In addition to helping you cope, friends provide a social life. Keep yourself from dwelling on your loss by staying connected to friends and loved ones who live nearby.

2. Make a plan with your adult children about visits, phone calls and other contact. Scheduling that first visit with your grandchildren will make you feel better. Check out your favorite hotel's website to plan where you will stay. Consider starting an account on the social website that your adult children or grandchildren use to make contact easier.

3. 

   Technology can help you cope when your grandchildren move.

   Learn about technology. Bridge the distance between you and your grandchildren after the move by installing a web cam on your computer so you and the kids can chat face-to-face. For younger grandchildren, investigate toys that allow you to record your voice. If technology intimidates you, check with your local library (see Resources) for classes to learn computer skills.

4. 

   Keep the laughter of children in your life.

   Pick new activities that involve children. Teach a class at your local place of worship or volunteer at a children's hospital. If you are feeling entrepreneurial, start your own home daycare center.

5. 

   Moving day can mean freedom. Embrace it!

   Stay focused on your significant other. Enjoy the freedom you now have and rediscover life as a couple. Pick some activities that you couldn't do with children such as dancing or concerts. Have real dates again.

6. 

   The most important step in coping is taking care of yourself.

   Take care of yourself. Coping with your adult children's move is stressful on the body and spirit. Don't be afraid to spoil yourself -- within limit. If you find that feelings of loneliness for your grandchildren interferes with your daily life, see your doctor and get a referral for counseling. With time, you will find that coping with the move of your children and grandchildren will become easier.

Tips & Warnings

• Scout out amusement parks in your grandchildren's new area. Having a fun activity planned will give you and them something to look forward to.

• Keep in mind that your adult children will be very busy during and after the move. Be patient the first few months while they adjust to their new lives.

• When coping with your adult children moving, don't lean too heavily on any one particular person. You don't want to over-burden your friends or partner.

• If you are experiencing overwhelming feelings of hopelessness or are thinking of hurting yourself, contact your physician or mental health provider immediately.

References

• PubMed.gov: Coping with the empty nest situation as a developmental task for the aging female -- an analysis of the literature

Resources

• LIbWeb: Directory of USA Public Libraries
• VolunteerMatch: Where Volunteering Begins