How to Make Friends When Lonely

Making friends requires some effort if you are lonely.

Most people feel lonely at some point in their lives. It might be after a divorce or perhaps when a person moves to a new area on her own. Loneliness might beset a student starting college away from home for the first time. Older people may also feel lonely, particularly if a partner dies and friends and family live far away. Some people might feel incredibly lonely when in a relationship or marriage. As the saying goes, being alone is not the same as being lonely. Find like-minded people, and you are putting yourself in the best possible position to make some new friends.

Instructions

1. Identify your hobbies and interests, and join a few local groups. For instance, if you are interested in singing, see if there is a choir in your area. If swimming is more your thing, then explore local sports and fitness clubs and centers.

2. Research if any clubs or networks for single people are in your local area. Avoid the "singles" groups, aimed at dating, if you are not interested in finding a partner. Some general singles clubs hold parties, walks, weekend breaks and dinner parties.

3. Offer your services to volunteer, charity and not-for-profit groups. Try to combine this with one of your interests. For instance, if you are interested in education, ask your local schools whether you could listen to children read. Charities for disabled children or older people might also need help, particularly if you have transport or a special skill, such as cooking.

4. Explore online ventures, such as chat rooms and dating websites, if you are looking for a new partner. Take all the usual safety precautions. If you find someone who seems compatible, then set up a meeting in a public place. Many people have discovered friendship or love through the Internet.

5. Engage in work-related social activities if you have a job. Some companies organize parties and sports events. Suggest a get-together with your work companions if this is appropriate, or offer your services if the company is looking for volunteers. This is a good way to get to know people, particularly if your company has a lot of employees.

6. Arrange child-related activities and meet-ups with other parents if you have children yourself. This is a natural and nonthreatening way to meet people, probably of the same age as you. If your child develops some strong friendships, invite the parents over for a chat.

Tips & Warnings

• Take the initiative if you meet someone you like, whether of the same or opposite sex. Suggest meeting for a coffee or a drink to get to know each other a bit better.

• Join the local place of worship. This can lead to a lot of social interaction and opportunities to make new friends.

• Join a political party if you are interested in politics.

• Try not to appear overeager when it comes to making friends, as this can be off-putting and smack of desperation.

References

• Mind: How to Cope With Loneliness
• Seniors Site: Dealing With Loneliness

Resources

• Stanford Alumni: Stanford Singles Club