How to Ask Someone to Be Your Girlfriend

By eHow Relationships & Family Editor

Rate: (68 Ratings)

Although you may not be ready to get down on one knee and ask for her hand, perhaps it's time to discuss your more immediate future together.

Flag Article

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

Step1

Ask yourself what makes her, and the time you spend together, special.

Step2

Think about the specific changes you hope will occur in the relationship if she agrees to become your girlfriend.

Step3

Be clear about what it means to you to have a girlfriend and what your expectations are concerning mutually exclusive dating, living together or other issues that are important to you.

Step4

Prepare to communicate why you are seeking and offering a bigger commitment to your relationship at this time.

Step5

Find an intimate setting for your discussion.

Step6

Let your date know in advance that you want to discuss how each of you is feeling about the other. Be clear so she knows that you don't want to break up - and that you're not proposing marriage yet, either.

Step7

Make her, and yourself, as comfortable as possible. Encourage her to express her feelings without pressuring her to make a decision.

Step8

Give her time to reflect on your immediate future.

Step9

Keep your fingers crossed and your options open.

Tips & Warnings

Try not to stress out about asking her to be your girlfriend. Although this is an important step, you can still be lighthearted in your approach.
Do your part to ensure that each of you feels heard, understood and respected no matter what the outcome.
If she doesn't share your feelings - whether she wanted more or less from your current arrangement - one or both of you may be very disappointed, frustrated or hurt. Give each other time and space to at least remain civil, if not friendly or maybe even friends.

Comments

Anonymous said

Flag This Comment

on 11/22/2005 The best way to ask a girl out is to get to know her, meet her family and gain her trust. If you do this, it is a lot easier. Make sure she is happy or in a good mood. The worst thing to do is to ask through MSN, e-mail or the telephone. You should tell her how you feel about her and then ask her. If she says no, then keep going on with the conversation. But if she says yes, make sure you thought of something to do with her. If all this works, then you will be one lucky guy.

slacker said

Flag This Comment

on 10/23/2007 IF YOU LIKE A GIRL. AND YOU WANT HER TO BE YOUR GIRLFRIND ASK HER OUT ON A DATE BUT IF SHE SAYS NO DO NOT FEEL BAD

Anonymous said

Flag This Comment

on 8/8/2006 Don't ask her out and expect her to take things further. If you want to hold hands, then do. If you want to hug, kiss, or go even further, then do. If she isn't ready she'll tell you. She doesn't want to necessarily be the one taking all the steps.

Anonymous said

Flag This Comment

on 3/13/2006 You can get all of the tips in the world and never be good with girls. All you have to do is really get to know yourself and be confident. Don't try to play games or look cool. Just do what you think is right and if it doesn't work out when you act like yourself then she is not right for you.

Anonymous said

Flag This Comment

on 2/15/2006 For starters, be friends with her and slowly let her realize how you feel toward her. Then ask her out. If she says no, keep your head up and remain friends with her. Try again later and never give up if you really like her.

View All