How to Take a Stand Against Verbal Abuse

Stop verbal abuse.

Verbal abuse can be very damaging. Unlike physical abuse, the scars are not seen, but the effects can be just as great. Verbal abuse can make a person feel unloved and unworthy. The person may feel that she deserves the verbal abuse and may even feel that the verbal abuse is okay because it is not physical. But that is completely false. In fact, according to a 2006 study by researchers at The Florida State University, those who were verbally abused as children were more likely to be depressed and experience feelings of anxiety as adults. If you are an adult experiencing abuse, the effects are equally hurtful. Therefore, you must take a stand against the abuse before it escalates.

Instructions

1. Walk away; yelling back can escalate the situation, so always walk away, remaining calm. Do not attempt to fight with the person doing the abusing. Leave the house if necessary.

2. Sit down later when you are both in a calm mood, and explain how the verbal abuse makes you feel and how much his words hurt you. Try to make him picture how he would feel if spoken to in the same verbally abusive manner. Keep your voice low, and do not get agitated; this is your chance to have an open, honest talk.

3. Give consequences. Tell the abuser that you can no longer tolerate his abuse and that if the abuse continues, there will be ramifications. Consider telling him that you may have to leave if the abuse continues. Whatever you decide, you must stick by it, so that the abuser knows you are serious.

4. Seek therapy for the abuser. Perhaps he has issues that make him verbally abusive, or maybe he was abused as a child. Therapy can be beneficial in that he can learn ways to control his abuse and not allow it to escalate.

5. Join a support group to meet people in similar situations. The members may be able to give you ideas about how to deal with emotional abuse. The support of the group should encourage you to make the necessary changes to stop the verbal abuse before it escalates.

Tips & Warnings

• The abuser must want help, so don't force him to get therapy.

References

• Helpguide.org: Domestic Violence and Abuse: Signs of Abuse and Abusive Relationships
• Womenshealth.gov: Violence Against Women: Emotional and Verbal Abuse
• EurekAlert!: Invisible Scars: Verbal Abuse Triggers Adult Anxiety, Depression

Resources

• DailyStrength: Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group