How to Cope With New Family Dynamics by Adoption

Spend time with your adopted child to make him feel welcome.

Welcoming a new addition to your family through adoption is a rewarding and life-changing experience. However, it often takes time for the new family member to adapt to your family's lifestyle and routine and for other family members to fully settle in to having a new child or sibling around. When welcoming an adopted child into your home, remember that adjusting to this significant change in your family dynamic takes effort and time.

Instructions

1. Prepare your children. Before bringing an adopted child home, talk to your children about your decision and provide them with an opportunity to express their feelings. Have your children help prepare for your adopted child's arrival, and, if possible, take your children along when it is time to bring your new child home. Once your adopted child has arrived, remain patient. It may take time for your children to fully welcome your new addition into the family.

2. Build family relationships. Spend time together as a family, and be sure to include your newly adopted child when talking about your family. Introduce your child to grandparents and other family members slowly, and display your new child's picture in your home. Share some of your favorite family activities and meals, and allow your new child to share her favorite games and foods.

3. Support your adopted child's feelings, and give your adopted child time to adjust. Moving in with a new family can be exciting, but it can often be upsetting and confusing as well. Your new child may express his feelings by becoming withdrawn, sad, angry or upset. He may also show regressive or inappropriate behavior. Remember that your child is dealing with a great change and a loss of his previous life. Consider hiring a professional, such as a therapist or counselor, to help support your child during his transition.

4. Integrate your child's culture in your family life. Research your child's heritage and cultural beliefs and celebrations. If you have adopted a child internationally, learn about her birth country and learn some important words in her birth language. Encourage your child to spend time with others with the same birth culture, and provide opportunities for her to research where she came from.

5. Seek support from family and friends. Handling the changes in your family dynamic is often tiring and stressful. Ask others to spend time with your child so that you can get a short break to cope with your own feelings and get recharged. Talk to your friends about your feelings and challenges associated with the adoption and accept their support and assistance when offered.

References

• Children, Youth and Women's Health Service: Intercountry Adoption-Emotional Health
• Parenting: Life After Adoption