How to Stop My Boss From Being a Bully
Dealing with a bully in the workplace can be additionally stressful when that bully is your immediate supervisor or manager. Having a bully for a boss can compromise your ability to focus on work, advance up the ranks and even cost you your job in extreme cases. When determined to stay under the employ of someone who can be miserable to work for, finding methods to interrupt or stop the behavior might be your best bet.
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Instructions
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Stay professional. Theresa Russo, an executive coach from Portland, Oregon, recommends that people keep their calm when confronted with bullying behavior. "Don't get defensive or angry," Russo says. "Mirroring high emotion is only going to escalate the situation. Modeling the kind of professional behavior you want your boss to display will keep you one step ahead of the game."
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Study communication skills that give you tools to deal with conflict. Books, such as "Crucial Confrontations" or "Dealing With People You Can't Stand," offer suggestions in dealing with confrontational situations. Take a seminar on personal workplace dynamics or nonviolent communication. Having multiple resources will give you a better chance of successfully thwarting bullying behavior.
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Set time aside to talk to your boss when things aren't heated. Ask for a meeting and calmly reflect how his communication style is affecting your ability to be a good employee. Mention one or two specific incidents, but do so without emotion or personal attacks. In some cases, people aren't aware of the effect their behavior has on others.
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Identify what sets off explosive incidents and try to avoid them. "Remember you have to work with/for this person, so try to figure out what the triggers are. If it is something you are doing, try not to," says Linda Barkdoll, coordinator of the Human Resources Development graduate program at McDaniel College.
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Talk to people outside of the workplace, such as friends, family members or a counselor, to relieve some of the tension and gain advice. Do not discuss the boss's behavior with others on the job. This approach can backfire and make matters worse for your own situation.
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Document each incident. Keeping a detailed record allows you possible recourse down the line if your job is ever threatened. If the abuse begins to escalate, having notes will help if you decide to talk to upper management or an attorney.
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Leave the job if you feel threatened in any way. Work should not be so full of torment that your mental and physical health is at risk.
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- Photo Credit strict boss image by Nikolay Okhitin from Fotolia.com
