How to Stop Your Teenager from Serious Dating

Teen dating can quickly become serious.

The teenage years are typically the ones in which boys and girls begin dating. Blossoming romances teach adolescents how to function in loving relationships and, thus, serve as an important part of social development. Problems arise, however, when casual dates progress quickly to serious intimacy. Parents worry that their children are not ready for mature unions, and they are right. How to stop teenagers from serious dating becomes a heady concern fraught with intense emotions on both the child and parental sides.

Instructions

1. Communicate with your spouse concerning dating issues before they occur. This will ensure you do not impart conflicting information to your teenagers about this important topic. Stand as a united front when dealing with potentially volatile issues such as your children's romantic relationships.

2. Talk with your children early and often before dating ever becomes an issue. Children need to know what to expect before they begin exploring male and female relationships.

3. Set specific guidelines regarding your child's dating and social life in general. Decide on a curfew for both school nights and weekends. Allow your child to have input in creating the rules but tell him or her that you have final say as the adults.

4. Tell your child she needs to tell you exactly where she is going and who she will be with every time she goes on a date. Remind her of the dating guidelines each time before she leaves and stay in touch via cell phones while she is out.

5. Insist on group dates while your child is a young teen. This will help guarantee the relationship does not move too quickly. Meet all the children involved and get contact information from them.

6. Check your child's online activity regularly. This is especially important if you suspect your child is getting too close to someone he is dating. Let your child know you are monitoring him, but don't be surprised if he tries to hide things from you. Educate yourself concerning how to tap into all the resources on your child computer.

7. Enforce consequences if your child breaks family rules regarding dating. The most obvious consequence is to disallow dating for a certain period of time. Be fair so that your child does not rebel. Dr. Phil McGraw warns parents that kids are likely to fight back against too strict punishments, which can make the situation worse.

8. Talk with the parents of the other child if your child begins dating the same person often. Explain your dating guidelines and ask them to relate their own rules to you. Work as a team to keep your kids from getting too deeply involved at such a young age.

Tips & Warnings

• Teach your children to respect members of the opposite sex. Model respectable behavior so that your children will follow in your footsteps.

• Never allow a teen's friend of the opposite sex to move into your residence. Though many teens need safe refuges when their own homes are not feasible, it is never advisable to allow a possible romantic partner of your child to live with you.

References

• Dr. Phil: Parenting: Teens and Dating