How to handle rude inlaws
In-laws are inherited when you become married. There is no fine print on the marriage certificate that informs you of the in-law issues you will have once you get married, and no instruction manual handed to you by the justice of the peace instructs you on how to deal with stress and issues brought on by rude in-laws, However, there are a few techniques that might ease some of the tension and help you avoid conflict with the family.
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Instructions
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Discussing issues with family could be a source of relationship tension. Discuss your concerns with your spouse. They might have had the same issues growing up or believe that their family is rude, but they might not broach the subject out of embarrassment or respect. Make sure that you bring up your issues with the rude in-laws in terms of your feelings. Instead of telling your spouse that their family is rude, say that when their family does "this" it makes me feel like "this". By approaching the subject this way, you will not put your spouse on the defensive.
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Boundaries may be needed to keep problems away. Create boundaries when it comes to your in-laws. Although it might feel as if you need to act perfectly to fit in with your spouse's family, or you are afraid of how they will react if you disagree with them, it is important for your well-being that you have limits and take care of yourself. If you have in-laws visiting who will not leave, and you are tired, say something like, "I had a wonderful time with you, but unfortunately I have x,y and z to prepare for." Hopefully they will get the message and leave. If they do not, you will need to take a more direct approach, such as simply asking them to leave.
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Put your relationship first. In-laws, no matter how well-meaning they might be, can cause rifts in your marriage. Your spouse's family is familiar with certain ways of doing things and might act rudely trying to impose their methods onto you. Be firm, not aggressive, and inform them that your marriage is unique and that you will take their advice into consideration, but you and your spouse need to do things in a manner best for you.
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Take a deep breath. The holidays, in particular, can be a time of extreme stress. That anxiety might put you on edge and make rude in-laws impossible to deal with. When you feel as if you are going to explode in anger, take a deep breath and excuse yourself from the situation for a few minutes. Spend a few minutes analyzing the situation. If you are over-reacting due to other stresses in your life, then try to ignore the in-laws. If the in-laws are being rude and completely out of line, then explain your issues to them, and either ask them to leave or remove yourself from the situation if the issue cannot be resolved.
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References
- Photo Credit Family image by Mat Hayward from Fotolia.com couple fight image by Allen Penton from Fotolia.com fence image by Sorawut from Fotolia.com
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Comments
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Since you have just been educating yourself and fighting to save the few dollars you earn from your low class job. And all you do is just plead for respect from other people. You can get away with punching them in the face... Several Times! Sometime outside of work is a great idea. It's tottally legal to organize a fight between you and them. It maybe that you will have to have the fight somewhere off of private or public property, but it's totally permittable by law. Or just ambush them. I would ambush them.
