How to Divorce a Controlling Spouse
Even under good circumstances, divorce is emotionally and financially difficult. When you are leaving and divorcing a controlling spouse, the stress and anxiety surrounding the process is magnified. Because leaving your controlling spouse can evolve into a dangerous situation, it is important to plan and prepare for you upcoming divorce in advance. Knowing what resources are available in your community will help you as you proceed with your divorce.
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Instructions
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Contact community domestic-abuse organizations. Extreme control is a form of abuse. Domestic-abuse organizations in your community have resources to help you leave and divorce your spouse. Find domestic-abuse organizations though your health care provider, the phone book or the U.S. Department of Justice website.
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Prepare to leave your spouse. You must make a plan to leave your controlling spouse several weeks or months in advance. During this time, collect important documents, any proof of abuse, valuable or sentimental property, and cash. Know that when you leave you probably will not be able to go back to get anything until after your divorce is final, if ever. In the meantime, your spouse may spend or dispose of your joint property. If you have children, take them with you when you leave. The courts are likely to order that children remain with the parent they are with until the divorce is final.
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Hire an attorney. Divorce from a controlling spouse requires the expertise of a legal professional. If you cannot afford an attorney, there are resources available in your community. Legal aid organizations provide civil legal services for free or on a sliding scale. Law school clinics provide free legal counsel by supervised third-year law students. Attorneys in your community provide legal services pro bono, at no charge. Contact the clerk of your county's court or your local bar association for a list of legal resources in your community.
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Request temporary orders from the court. Through your attorney, you should request that the court issue temporary orders during the course of your divorce proceedings. Common temporary orders include child-support orders, spousal-support orders and temporary property orders. If your spouse is controlling, it is important to get official court orders for these matters because you likely cannot rely on your spouse's word alone.
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Stay safe. A controlling spouse is likely to become angry when served with divorce papers. Make sure that you are staying in a safe place and that you are never with your spouse alone. If you fear that your spouse will abscond with your children, ask the court for supervised visitation. Ask the court for a restraining order if you fear physical violence or if your spouse is harassing or stalking you.
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Tips & Warnings
The safety of yourself and your children is paramount. Have a safety plan in place before and after you leave your controlling spouse.
Try to save enough money to live on until your divorce is final. Financial trouble is a major factor that leads to returning to a controlling spouse.
This article is for informational purposes only. This article in no way represents legal advice or counsel. Always contact a licensed attorney in your area before making important legal decisions.
