How to File for Divorce After You Forgive Adultery
Forgiving a cheating spouse can sometimes cost an innocent party valuable legal advantages that the other's adultery may have created under state law. The affirmative defense of condonation, available at common law, exists where an adulterous spouse can prove that the other both knew about his behavior and forgave him for it. Despite the problems that condonation creates for an innocent party, however, it does not always have to spell an end to one's case. A spouse who has forgiven the other's adultery can take certain steps to protect his rights.
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Instructions
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Review your state's domestic relations code and accompanying case law to gain a better understanding of how your jurisdiction treats adultery and condonation in family court before you consult with an attorney. Having a grasp on the law will enable you to ask better questions in your consultation and make the most of your time with the lawyer.
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Consider utilizing the services of a private investigator to determine whether evidence of new adultery exists. Post-forgiveness incidents of adultery will destroy the defense of condonation and renew the legal effects of the indiscretions you forgave. A private investigator may uncover something you can use to revive the forgiven misconduct.
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Examine cell phone records, credit card records and other documentary evidence to determine whether the adultery to which your spouse confessed is all there was. A record of mobile phone calls to a paramour's number may show that a supposed one-night stand was something far more. Credit card statements may reveal the existence of secret hotel stays. A party can only forgive misconduct of which he was aware, and you might prevail in your case if you can find something previously unknown.
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Collect evidence of misconduct other than adultery to strengthen your case. Although being able to prove unforgiven adultery on the part of the other spouse is a powerful advantage in a divorce proceeding, adultery is not the only form of marital misconduct in many states. A cheating spouse may also be a spendthrift and an excessive user of alcohol or illegal drugs, or may have committed domestic violence.
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File for legal separation or divorce the same as you would have done had condonation never occurred. Remember that condonation is an affirmative defense; if the other party doesn't raise it, it doesn't hurt you. File your summons and complaint and deliver filed copies to the sheriff of the other party's county for service. If she does not answer and raise her defenses within the time specified by your state, you can proceed to court for summary judgment hearings on whatever issues you have raised in your complaint, including legal separation or divorce.
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