How to Apply Speaking and Active Listening Skills

Learning effective communication skills can help you advance in the workplace.

Active listening skills and speaking skills go hand in hand for an effective and understandable conversation. Learn the skills necessary to advance in life by applying conversation techniques to improve both personal and working relationships. Active listening is a needed skill that allows others to feel appreciated and heard in a conversation, and applying speaking skills allows the speaker to communicate his thoughts effectively. Without the application of both of these skills, misunderstandings occur more often than necessary.

Instructions

Applying Speaking Skills

1. Prepare what you would like to communicate, especially if the conversation is work related or you have a specific goal in mind for the conversation such as fixing a relationship problem. Use logic when laying out the topics you would like to discuss so that your thoughts are easily understood.

2. Ask yourself questions about the audience you are speaking with before you begin. What do they want to gain from this conversation? What topics do I need to stay away from due to the sensitivity of the audience? Why are we having this conversation? What are their views on the situation we are discussing? These are all relevant questions and will help you prepare for the conversation ahead.

3. Use casual language to communicate during the conversation. Do not worry about using an overly intellectual vocabulary; keep your language basic and simple so you can keep the listener's attention.

4. Be sincere when you are speaking your ideas and opinions. If you want to be convincing, you need to believe in and value what you are speaking about. Most people can detect insincerity.

5. Refrain from talking too much. When you speak in brief statements, it allows the listener to feel comfortable with asking questions and keeps the conversation moving along.

Applying Active Listening Skills

1. Let the speaker know that you are paying attention by looking directly at him. Don't allow yourself to become distracted by thoughts or environmental factors. Push anything distracting out of your thoughts and focus on what the speaker is saying. Do not allow yourself to engage in any outside conversations and do not, under any circumstances, pick up your cell phone during a conversation.

2. Use body language to show the speaker that you are listening. Smile, nod and gesture in response to what is being said. Make sure you are sitting or standing in a nonthreatening, inviting position and occasionally add a few verbal responses such as "uh-huh" or "mmmmm...."

3. Ask questions in order to understand what the speaker is saying. This allows you to provide effective feedback while also letting the speaker know he is being heard. Repeat some of the ideas the speaker is conveying, such as "what I am hearing from you is...."

4. Allow the speaker to complete a thought and finish a sentence. Don't interrupt a speaker as this only adds to frustration and prevents thorough understanding. Do not let yourself judge the person as he is speaking; this creates a need to interrupt with your own argument.

5. Respond appropriately. Be respectful toward the speaker and his opinions. It is okay to disagree with the speaker and to be honest about a differing opinion, but be sure to treat the speaker in the same way you would want to be treated. Do not mock or make fun of the other person in any way. Consider the conversation as a way to gain new perspective and insight.

References

• Mindtools: Active Listening
• Experience Festival: Public Speaking- Professional Tips to Improve Your Speaking