How to Overcome Jealousy Issues

A wild imagination can turn the smallest gestures into cause for jealousy.

Nothing erodes a relationship like jealousy. That's not to say that all jealousy is bad, but if not controlled, it can cause a relationship to fail. Jealousy problems can sometimes be traced back to a previous relationship where a partner abused the other partner's trust. When jealousy becomes obsessive, fights can begin to surface and cause permanent damage to the partnership. There are ways couples can improve their jealousy issues so that the relationship is not ruined.

Instructions

1. Locate the source of jealousy. Take time to critically evaluate previous relationships. Ask yourself what went wrong and what went right. Identify known issues where your partner abused your trust. Remember that current partners should not be punished for the mistakes of previous partners. If you have not been abused by other partners, look within and try to identify your own insecurities that are causing the jealousy problems.

2. Look at the situation from an outside point of view. You can become so entrenched in the situation that it's hard to look at it objectively. Ask a neutral party if the actions in question should result in jealousy or concern. Try to place yourself in your partner's shoes and understand how he is viewing the situation.

3. Focus on the reality of the situation. When jealousy overwhelms the mind, your imagination can fill in the gaps of reality. Take a step back and look at the facts. What is really going on that can be confirmed? Only focus and rely on those facts.

4. Set boundaries for each other. Make your partner aware of any actions that can cause you to become jealous. That way, when one of you breaks the rules, there is reason to be upset. Arguments can then be based on reality and not imagination.

References

• Pathway to Happiness: Overcoming Jealousy, Anger, and Control in Relationships
• Ask Men: Overcoming Jealousy in Relationships

Resources

• Read this Article in Spanish