How to Help Children Understand Death

Talking with your child about death can be done even before your child experiences the loss of a loved one.

Death is a difficult subject for children to understand, but they may know more than you think. Talking to your children about death is an important thing to do, especially if they have experienced the loss of someone they know. Communicate with your children about death and allow them to ask any questions they have. Being open can ease the anxiety surrounding the subject and bring your child some peace and understanding.

Instructions

1. Be honest with your children about death. Do not use euphemisms such as "gone away" or "with God."

2. Be sure that they understand what you are telling them about death. Younger children may believe that the person is coming back.

3. Allow your children to ask any questions about death, and answer them as simply and honestly as you can.

4. Share with your child your personal and religious beliefs about what happens when people or animals die.

5. Allow them to see you cry, and let them know it is okay for them to be sad and even angry.

6. Listen to your children when they need to talk about death or how they are feeling.

7. Reassure your child that they will still be loved and cared for.

8. Read books or complete activities about death. There are many books on death available for all ages. Activities such as visiting a cemetery or even a church can help children understand more about death.

Tips & Warnings

• Never ignore or belittle a child when they are upset. Provide comfort and acceptance instead. Seek the help of a therapist if there are severe behavioral changes in your child.

References

• Hospice Net: Talking to Children About Death
• National Network for Child Care: Helping Children Understand Death
• Purple Wagon: Helping Children Understand Death

Resources

• Hospice Net: Children's Understanding of Death