How to Help a Sister After Her Husband's Death

When everyone has gone, be there to help your sister cope with her feelings.

There are no words that can heal a broken heart when you've lost your loved one. Family and friends will gather for the formal funeral services. The moment of reality will set in for your sister after everyone is gone. This is the time to step in and help your sister. She will not be able to tell you what she needs. Start with things you know your brother in-law would handle if he were still alive. If mowed the lawn, you might get someone to do that for her for awhile.

Instructions

1. Invite your sister out to lunch or family gatherings. She will not feel like participating, but it is important for you to encourage her to get out and live her life. Surprise your sister and pick her up for family dates. Organize a fun day or a fun weekend for just the two of you. Allow her to grieve after the death of her husband, but don't stay in the moment. Choose activities that will help you both smile and help her move on.

2. Take special time with your sister around the holidays. After the death of her husband, holidays will be difficult for her to participate in. Talk about the good times and create new memories for your sister. She will soon be able to face the holidays again in time. Different holidays will trigger different memories. Help your sister by allowing her to talk about her husband.

3. Encourage your sister to call you when she needs to talk. Your sister will probably not want to bother you, especially if you have your own family. Ask her to call you and when you don't hear from your sister, you call her. According to Help Guide, "Grieving is a personal and highly individual experience. How you grieve depends on many factors, including your personality and coping style, your life experience, your faith and the nature of the loss."

4. Attend grief counseling sessions with your sister. Your sister may need professional help after the death of her husband. Sit with her in sessions until she is comfortable going on her own. She will form new alliances and friendships with other women who are going through the same situation. Help your sister by caring for her children while she attends the meetings.

Tips & Warnings

• Give your sister time to grieve. Everyone is different.

• Don't push her to date if she is not ready. Let her tell you when she is ready to date.

References

• Facing Bereavement
• Help Guide: Coping with Grief and Loss
• Teens Health: Death and Grief

Resources

• Grief Counseling