How to Deal With High Anxiety Perfectionists

Try to avoid joining in the perfectionist's behavior.

You may live or work with a high anxiety perfectionist. This may make you feel inadequate or frustrated, or even a combination of the two. The highly anxious perfectionist, through no fault of their own can make life uncomfortable for those around them. It is easy to become caught up in this behavior, perhaps even to question your own less than perfectionist attitude. Therefore it essential to recognize that this person's behavior is not really something to emulate or envy. It is symptomatic of low, rather than high self-esteem, and can actually be quite destructive.

Instructions

1. Stand outside the perfectionist's behavior and try to view it objectively. Ask yourself if this person actually achieves any more than anyone else despite all her striving and anxiety. Try to maintain a calm atmosphere in the home or office. Accept that the other person has a problem and much of this behavior is outside of her control.

2. Confront this person, if his behavior is really affecting you. Try to relate your comments to the behavior rather than the person. The perfectionist may fear failure and have low self-esteem. You do not want to make him feel worse. Discuss his anxiety, if he is willing to do so. Try to keep the tone light and supportive rather than being condemnatory. Discuss your own attitude to organization, pointing out some of your own imperfections.

3. Ask the other person to join you in social activities where she can let her guard down and relax. If appropriate, discuss the concept of failure, and point out that failure is normal, and often leads to better things. Be a trustworthy confidante, encouraging the person to come to you if she is feeling particularly anxious or stressed. Do not discuss the person's problem with others.

References

• Overcoming Anxiety Attacks Symptoms: How to Stop Anxiety...
• Center for Creative Counseling: Managing Perfectionism