How to Find Love in Middle Age
For singles, dating and marriage in the middle-age years (45-65) look different than they have in the past. U.S. census data reported in 2001 that more than 200,000 men and women between the ages of 40 and 69 had never married, and that more than 300,000 men and women were divorced. This means that many people were looking for love at an age when (some believe) they should have already found it. But finding love is not a frivolous pursuit and sometimes takes longer than expected.
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Instructions
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Commit Yourself to Getting Out More
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Think about what you like to do. Knowing what you like prepares you to find someone who likes some of the same things you do. Write down at least three things you like to do most.
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Commit to doing something that has to do with those three things within the same week. For example, if you love bowling, reading and exercising, take a trip to a bowling alley on Monday, a bookstore on Wednesday and a public gym on Friday. This way you will attract people with whom you have something in common. Commonality is a feature of most healthy relationships.
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Go out at least three times a week, each time somewhere new, until you meet someone who could potentially be the love of your life. Of course you may not experience love at first sight, but you can find a new friend who may turn out to be the love you've been waiting for. According to Dr. Karen Fingerman, a professor at Purdue University, friendships get better with age and some of the most solid love relationships start off as good friendships.
Go to Singles Events
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Look in your local newspaper or church bulletin to find singles events for people in their middle-age years.
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Get a special outfit together and pamper yourself in preparation for the singles event. Women might buy a new dress, get their hair done and try a new perfume, while men might buy a new pair of slacks and a shirt, get a fresh haircut and try a new cologne.
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Stay positive and relax. Don't become anxious about meeting someone at the event. Just enjoy yourself and allow natural conversations and interactions to take place. People can sense insecurity or tension in others, so just enjoy the journey to finding love.
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If you meet someone you're interested in, ask for his or her phone number. Most women don't want to ask first, and that's fine--but they should at least give men signs to let them know that they're interested.
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Keep your hopes high and prepare for another singles event if you don't meet anyone worth your time.
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Tips & Warnings
Before you get serious with someone new, work out those issues that caused your past relationship(s) to fail. If you need help recognizing what those factors could have been, do some reading (try the work of Dr. John Gottman at the University of Washington), or see a counselor to help you resolve those issues.
Another way to find singles events in your area is to seach on the web for "middle-aged singles events" in your zip code. Or check for events at your library.
If you truly want to find love, stick to the hope that you can find someone worth loving for the rest of your life and stay clear of discouraging or bitter friends who can influence you negatively.
Never give your personal information to someone you just met. You may be tempted to move quickly but it's wise to let time prove what's real and true.
References
Resources
- Photo Credit old love image by Josef F Stuefer from Fotolia.com
