How to Cope With Limited Contact When Dating Someone in the Military

Dating someone in the military can be challenging.

Long-distance relationships are often difficult to maintain because of challenges including loneliness, separation anxiety, traveling expenses and trust. Dating someone in the military can include all these challenges and more. The loved one could be in a dangerous situation, or doing something she isn't permitted to tell you about. However, this does not mean your relationship is doomed. The United States is full of successful military families, and experienced military spouses have learned how to cope with limited contact.

Instructions

1. Think about whether you are suited to maintaining a long-distance relationship before you get serious with someone in the military. If you already know that you can't tolerate being alone most of the time or you expect to be able to see or at least talk to your significant other every day, then dating someone in the military may be a poor choice for you. If you know that you don't want to be in a long-distance relationship, end it before it gets serious so that you do not mislead your enlisted significant other and prolong your own stress.

2. Form a support network with your family, friends and neighbors. You are less likely to feel lonely and isolated while your military sweetheart is away if you have a very active social life and lots of loved ones to talk to. Many military spouses are particularly close to their families. This network will be especially important to you during holidays like Christmas, Thanksgiving and your birthday. It's also important to have friends your age with whom you can do fun things like seeing movies or playing sports. That way you won't miss having someone to go on dates with as much.

3. Make friends with other military spouses and significant others. No one can understand your difficulties as well as people who are in the same situation. They can give you tips for dealing with the separation and limited contact and may also be willing to provide you with a shoulder to cry on when you are feeling lonely. Military spouses and significant others are also accustomed to forming support networks and will often throw small get-togethers such as barbecues, picnics or cocktail parties just for people in your situation.

4. Send your soldier frequent care packages. The soldier will appreciate your gifts and keep you in mind. Putting these packages together can also be a fun activity for you to keep busy with. Include handwritten letters, pictures, magazines, things to entertain the soldier, phone cards and baked goods. Don't include anything too personal or anything that might embarass the soldier if the other soldiers see it, because these packages are not necessarily completely private. Also don't send any food product that could go bad or melt, like chocolate.

5. Trust your soldier while you have no contact. If you want to stay in your relationship, you will have to trust that your soldier is thinking of you and not cheating. Your soldier is probably too busy working to do anything that you would object to. If your soldier is doing something to betray your trust, there is nothing you can do about it anyway. You may as well not drive yourself insane thinking about the things your soldier might be up to while you aren't there to supervise.

References

• Married to the Army: Staying Connected During Deployments