How to Deal With an Emotionally Abusive Relationship

It is important to deal with arguments in a healthy way.

Many people find themselves in an abusive relationship at some point in their lives. According to Healthy Place.com, one in three women will suffer a physical assault by a partner at some point. However, abuse is not always physical, and victims are not always women. Some people deal with this in better ways than others. Most abusive relationships have some element of collusion. This is not to blame the victim, but the victim does need to examine her own behavior, which is ultimately the area she can best control.

Instructions

Measures to Deal with an Abusive Relationship

1. Calmly discuss the issue with your partner. Point out the elements of the relationship which concern you. Choose a time and a place conducive to calm discussion. Be assertive in stating what you find unacceptable. Do not attempt to have this conversation in the middle of an argument.

2. Discuss the issue with a relative or close friend. Secrecy is an unhealthy and often integral part of an abusive relationship. Refuse to hide any abuse, particularly any physical abuse. Recognize what abusive behavior is. Signs include: isolating you from other people, unreasonable jealousy, and shouting and intimidating. Be aware of controlling types of behavior, such as taking control of the finances.

3. Seek counseling, if you find yourself unable to tackle the relationship problems. Refuse to be blamed for your partner's temper. Her behavior is ultimately her own responsibility. Consider couples counseling. Recognize any enabling behavior on your part. This may include making excuses, or denial that there is a problem.

4. Consider leaving the relationship if the abusive behavior continues, and none of your steps to change it appear to be working. Explore options of alternative accommodation, if you need to do this.

Tips & Warnings

• Avoid issuing ultimatums that you are not going to follow through on. This merely prolongs the misery, and gives the wrong message to your partner.

• If you are in physical danger, seek help immediately.

References

• She Radiance: How to Deal with Abusive Relationship
• Healthy Place: Abusive Relationships and How to deal with Them