How to Alleviate Conflict

Conflict resolution can help prevent a bad situation from getting worse.

Conflict can be on a micro or macro level: in the family, in the workplace or between countries. Conflicts share some common factors. Some of the causes of conflict overlap, and some of the strategies to overcome conflict can be transferred from one situation to another. Unresolved conflict usually escalates and becomes increasing more difficult to resolve as positions become entrenched. The ability to mediate conflict is a truly useful skill, and one that can be developed.

Instructions

Active Listening

1. 

   Actively listen to each point of view.

   Encourage the parties to actively listen to each other's point of view. One characteristic of conflict is a refusal or inabiliy of one person to listen to the other person's viewpoint. Allow each person a chance to express herself. Validate each person's views by asking appropriate questions. Avoid dismissive body language such as looking away or crossing your arms.

2. Encourage the parties to use the word "I." It is more helpful to say "I find it frustrating when . . . " rather than "your behavior makes me . . . ." This subtle shift in tone can make the other party feel less under attack. Center the conflict. Help the parties to identify the key points of the dispute, making resolution more likely.

3. Avoid common communication obstacles. Do not lecture the parties or use threats. Do not dismiss the parties' viewpoints, or rush to present solutions. Confront the situation rather than the person. Allow a way for both parties to walk away from the situation with their dignity intact. Focus on "win-win" solutions, rather than "win-lose" outcomes.

Tips & Warnings

• Be patient and have realistic aims. Remain impartial.

References

• Applied Sport Psychology: Coaching through conflict...Ryan Hedstron
• Slate: Family Feud