How to Support a Depressed Spouse

Take your spouse on outings to receive fresh air and sunshine.

Depression is an illness that features symptoms of emotional hopelessness, sadness and withdrawal. Suicidal tendencies sometimes are also present. Depression can occur in any ethnic group at any age. According to Health Key Online, this disease is caused by neurotransmitters in the brain being out of balance. Depression can be medically treated by a physician. At home, depression is sometimes difficult for a spouse or family member to understand and cope with. Those with depression can lead happy and full lives with treatment and support. There are many things you can do to support your loved one with depression.

Instructions

Knowledge about the Disease

1. 

   Walking together after visits to the doctor can neutralize some stress from appointments.

   Consult with your spouse's physician or psychiatrist about things you can do to help at home. Take a pad and pencil with you or a tape recorder, and keep a record of the doctor's answers so you won't forget them later. Write down any questions or concerns beforehand, so you're ready to discuss them with the doctor. Having knowledge of the disease and how it personally relates to your spouse is the first step to helping.

2. Read books and articles on depression to help familiarize yourself with the disease, and to help you see it from your spouse's point of view. Education and empathy are key.

3. Learn the symptoms of the disease, and make a chart or list of how the symptoms relate to your spouse. Learn your spouse's warning signs and personal triggers. For example, if dealing with a specific task always sends her into a down spin, that might be a task you want to assume.

Practice Positive Listening Skills

1. 

   Let your spouse speak freely without interruption.

   Talk in a private location outside of your home. Once the discussion is over, your spouse can return home felling that it's behind her, and not hanging in the air. Home should be a sanctuary.

2. Look your spouse in the eye when listening to him, letting him know he has your full attention.

3. Turn off your cell phone, television and any other electronic devices during the conversation.

4. Listen unconditionally, even if you don't understand exactly what's being said at that moment. Your job is to just listen, not to fix or solve the problem. By being a good listener, you'll be more understanding of what your spouse is going through. Sometimes, to a depressed person, just to hear the words, "I understand," means a lot.

Support Treatment

1. 

   Helping your spouse to stay in treatment is one of the best things you can do.

   Seek treatment for your spouse, and be supportive of this treatment. There are medications for depression, as well as support groups that will help your spouse to deal with the depression. It is important to find the right physician that will understand your spouse's needs.

2. Understand that healing won't happen overnight. Healing is a process, and it takes the work of the physician, the spouse and yourself working together to make it happen. Give it time.

3. Involve yourself in the treatment process. Don't be resentful of your spouse when times are tough. Don't let him feel that he is a burden. Let your spouse know you feel the treatment is worth the effort and time.

Prepare for Things to Go Wrong

1. 

   Focus on the physical health of your spouse, also.

   Make sure both of you are eating a balanced diet, exercising, and taking a multi-vitamin. Keeping as healthy as possible will help to prevent other illnesses, such as colds and flu, which can compound symptoms of depression.

2. Refrain from drinking in front of your spouse if your spouse has been addicted to alcohol. According to Medical News Today.com, alcohol abuse may lead to an increased risk of depression.

3. Organize meals in advance. Meal times can become sudden stress points when nothing is planned ahead or prepared, and can feel overwhelming to a spouse with depression. You can avoid that stress by purchasing groceries in advance and planning for it ahead of time.

4. Assist with clothing choices and bathing. If your spouse is having an off day, having problems choosing what to wear, or even getting in the shower, take the initiative. Lay out clothes in colors that are uplifting, not depressing. Don't lay out the baggy torn gray or black T-shirts, but something colorful. Run a bath with aromatherapy bath salts or bath oils that are refreshing, such as jasmine, lavender or honeysuckle.

Tips & Warnings

• Call 911 or the National Suicide Hotline [phone]-TALK if you think your spouse might be suicidal.

References

• Health Key: How to Support Someone Who is Depressed
• Finding Optimism: Optimism Apps: How to Support Someone with Depression
• Health Key: Depression
• Health Central: Talking to Someone with Depression - What to Say and What to Offer
• Healthy Place: Helping a Depressed Person Receive Treatment for Depression
• Mental Help: On Drinking, Smoking and Depression

Resources

• Psyche Central: World of Psychology: Depression: The Spouse's Side of the Story
• Seroquelxr: Organizations
• Medical News Today: Alcohol Abuse May Lead To Depression Risk, Rather Than Vice Versa