How to Forgive a Lying Boyfriend
In any relationship, once trust has been broken, it can be extremely challenging to get it back. Forgiving a lying boyfriend is more than just a matter of him saying that he won't repeat the action and you accepting that. It takes time to allow yourself to really forgive him and he must be willing to accept certain conditions in order to move forward in your relationship. It is only once these conditions are met consistently that both of you can begin to heal the relationship.
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Instructions
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Talk about the reason for the lie. Guys lie for numerous reasons, from not wanting to argue about the infraction to feeling ashamed for whatever they've done. You must get to the bottom of why he lied in order to understand whether a lack of communication is to blame. Sometimes, once you've discussed the reason for the lie, you may find that he felt as though you were unapproachable, a problem easily resolved by a simple affirmation that he can bring all problems to you.
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Be expressive, but not mean-spirited. It is important to communicate how you feel about the fact that he lied to you. However, you must communicate those feeling effectively, in order to make a lasting point. Use strong feeling words and stick only to how you feel about this particular action. Refrain from being mean and don't bring up past infractions. Stay in the present.
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Make a plan to move on. This is where his ability to be consistent will determine the future of your relationship. It may be small things, such as checking in at certain times of the day or making his whereabouts known. It may be more in-depth, such as allowing you to keep a tighter reign on joint financial accounts or allowing you to handle more important responsibilities. Whatever the plan is, communicate to him the terms of sticking with it and the consequences if he lies again.
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Seek counseling for seemingly insurmountable issues. If your boyfriend lied about something small, like drinking one too many beers with the guys or forgetting to get the oil changed, that is something you can work through. However, if the lie is regarding a situation of infidelity, that might be more than you can handle on your own. Seek professional counseling to learn how to forgive problems that strike at the heart of your ability to be together.
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