How to Discipline a Child That Lies

Disciplining and explaining about lies helps prevent further lying from children.

There are a variety of reasons that a child might feel the need to lie. They might want to avoid getting in trouble, hide something or feel that telling the truth would hurt someone or disappoint their parents. Regardless of the reason, teaching children that lying is inappropriate is an important lesson. Discipline is a necessity when a child lies, because if they are not disciplined, the child will learn that lying is acceptable behavior.

Instructions

1. Teach children the difference between reality and make-believe. When children are young, they do not yet know what is reality and what is made up stories, so they might lie when they are telling a story without knowing the difference. Explaining to young children what is real and what is not is the starting point of preventing lying in children that are older. Start young and make sure that the lie is not a misunderstanding in the child's mind, then explain why lying is wrong.

2. Set up rules and explain them to the child. Tell the child what the consequences of lying are, so that they are encouraged to avoid lying. When the rule is broken, follow through with the punishment. Always punish a lie more harshly than you punish misbehavior and telling the truth. For example, if a child misbehaves but tells you about the misbehavior honestly, take away video games or TV for a week. If they misbehave and then lie about it, ground them to their room with no toys, TV, video games or other entertainments for two weeks. This shows that the lie is punished more harshly.

3. Avoid asking questions to which the answers are already known. This invites a lie from the child. Instead, tell them about the action and ask what to do about the action. For example, if a child has not yet completed his or her homework, tell them that you've noticed that their homework is not finished yet and ask what they should do about the situation.

4. Give children some privacy. If a child is not comfortable talking about something, such as a misbehavior or a bad grade, give them time. Encourage them to talk, but avoid forcing them. Instead, tell them that they can tell you when they are ready. This will show them that they can tell you and that you will encourage them to tell you, but that you will avoid cornering them in a lie, especially when the situation is one that they think will disappoint or hurt.

5. Avoid labeling the child as a liar. Labeling the child will make the child lie more often. Instead, follow through with punishments laid out in the rules and tell them that it is wrong to lie.

References

• Dr. Phil: Advice: When Your Child Won't Stop Lying
• Growing Well: How to Handle Your Child Lying?
• Positive Discipline: How to Get my Child to Stop Lying
• The Labor of Love: How Should We Discipline a Consistently Lying Child?