How to Get a Divorce in New York

Divorce is one of the most emotionally, intellectually and financially difficult challenges in life. Keep your priorities straight and control your anger, and you'll come out ahead.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Stress Management Counseling
• Stress Relief Products

1. Contact an attorney to discuss your rights. Be sure you understand equitable distribution, maintenance, custody, child support and grounds for divorce.

2. Try to talk to your spouse and reach an agreement about custody and division of debts and assets.

3. Consider a legal separation. This can be converted to a divorce after one year.

4. Realize that in New York you must have a reason or "grounds" for the divorce. No-fault divorce doesn't exist in New York.

5. Make sure your spouse doesn't remove assets. If you think he or she could, you may want to put them in a safe place.

6. Gather all your financial records about income, taxes, debts, pensions and assets.

7. Consider using mediation to settle your divorce case. Contact the New York State Council on Divorce Mediation at [phone] for the name of a mediator in your area.

8. Determine whether maintenance (alimony) and child support will be needed. Obtain detailed explanations about New York maintenance and child support.

9. Make living and visitation arrangements for your children on a temporary basis. File a motion for temporary relief in Supreme Court or family court if you and your spouse cannot agree.

10. Understand the many detailed steps involved in obtaining a New York divorce if you plan on representing yourself. Don't be afraid to ask for help from court clerks.

11. Expect the divorce process to take many months.

Tips & Warnings

• Mediation is a civilized way to settle your divorce. A mediator will help you and your spouse reach an agreement, which can then be formalized into a divorce.
• Be sure that you talk with an attorney who has experience in matrimonial law. Ask lots of questions.
• Consult a marriage counselor if you're not certain you want to be divorced.
• Make certain that your children understand what is happening. Stress that it's not their fault and that you both still love them. Get them into therapy if needed.
• Buy a book about filing your own divorce in New York. A book can provide you with summaries of all the applicable laws and answer many of your questions. Even if you've hired an attorney, it's useful to have a book for reference.
• It's essential that you fully understand all of your rights before you agree to anything. Read a book or consult an attorney.
• If you plan to represent yourself, be aware that no two cases are the same. You must be certain you understand your rights and the procedures that are necessary to obtain a divorce.
• This information is not intended as a substitute for legal counsel.