How to be a Sensitive yet Blunt Communicator

Be conscious and in control of our choices of context, tone of voice and body language.

"Blunt" and "sensitive" are words you might not think could work well together, but they make an essential pairing for effective communication. Being blunt simply means using language that is direct and to the point. But your bluntness can impede communication if not tempered with sensitivity to the message's possible negative reception. Good communicators choose their words carefully, and they present their message in a confident yet considerate manner.

Instructions

1. Know your facts before communicating. Approach the other person in a direct yet respectful manner and let the facts speak the truth of the subject at hand. Stay away from personality observations.

2. Use buffers by opening communication with positive words before laying out the facts. Ease the directness of the facts, and add a little cushioning to help soften the landing. Use a statement such as: "I know you've worked really hard and I appreciate your effort, but I would really like the see more .... 'blunt statement' .... the next time you do try it."

3. Be direct, not confrontational. However, don't be afraid to say what you mean. Use the buffers to show the other person your good side and communicate the facts.

4. Watch your tone. Speak in unvarying pitch and at moderate speed. Avoid speaking too loudly, too swiftly, too intensely or too softly, which can send the wrong message. Remain cool, calm and collected.

5. Control your body language. Use moderate direct eye contact. Don't cross your arms, which may be construed as anger. Don't look at your feet or fidget, which implies uncertainty. Don't speak with your hands or arms flailing, which signals irritation or confrontation. Compose your body to set the stage for understanding. Stand or sit upright, hands in a cusp.

Tips & Warnings

• Effective communication without overstepping personal boundaries requires putting yourself in the other person's shoes.

• Think things through before speaking.

• If the communication doesn't go well at first, take a breather and rethink things before trying again.

• Seek professional counseling or mediation if necessary.

References

• Group Works: Effective Communication
• Rockhurst Audio Conference: Assertiveness Skills
• Good Communication Skills