How to Ask Out a Girl Who Is a Friend

Man thinking about how to ask his friend out on a date

When a guy wants to ask a girl out, the mental chess begins. Do I be smooth and debonair? Do I be straightforward or creative? Do I ask more than once if she says "no"? If this girl is already your friend, you sir, have an advantage. You already know a little bit about her, so it eliminates the factor of what she may or may not like. Take what you know and use it to create the moment that may turn into a lifetime of moments together.

Instructions

1. Remember that she is not a stranger you met at a bar or club. She is your friend, so don't try and be someone you're not. Chances are she was your friend because she likes certain characteristics about you. If you're funny, don't be afraid to be funny. If you're analytical, don't be afraid to use your head. Do not change your personality for a date.

2. Practice how you'd ask her. It may be helpful to try this with other female friends to see what response you might get. If your other female friends are also friends with her they can give you insight on what women like and what may work for this girl in particular. No one has more insight into women than women.

3. Consider your location but don't go overboard. Do not take her to a five-star restaurant if you're only used to eating at McDonald's; that could scare her away or give the wrong message. It is fine to do something different, but do something friends would still do together. Cafes, retail stores with communal areas, malls and parks are great places to ask a girl on a date. It may be helpful to go somewhere that's familiar to the both of you; somewhere you both like.

4. Do not ask right away. Direct the conversation to the topic. Starting your time together by asking her out on a date can seem too aggressive and put her on the defensive. Talk casually and then introduce the subject.

5. Ask gently and be ready for a "yes" or a "no." Talk about how much you enjoy the friendship and how you'd been thinking about starting a relationship. Be honest with her about your thoughts and feelings. You don't necessarily have to introduce thoughts about marriage and children right away even if that's where you see the relationship going. Keep it simple.

6. Give her time to process. If she says "yes" then talk about how to proceed. If she says "no" then retain the friendship. Do not give her any ultimatums for a decision. Give her time to think about what you're asking; this may be new for her, and she'll need time to process.

References

• TopDatingTips.com: How to Ask Someone Out: Get the Timing Right

Resources

• Read this Article in Spanish
• AskMen: DocLove: Get out of the Friend Zone