How to Cope With Spousal Verbal Abuse
Married couples are going to argue from time to time and even say hurtful things to one another. However, there is a line that can be crossed where normal conflict turns into verbal abuse. Verbal abuse can be measured by how often you are spoken to in a negative way and the emotional intensity and cruelty behind what is being said. It is used by the antagonist to assert dominance in the relationship and can cause severe damage to a person's self-esteem, lead to unhappiness and even end a marriage. It is important to know how to cope with spousal verbal abuse so you can end the abuse and create a happy and healthy relationship for you and your partner.
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Instructions
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Accept that verbal abuse is a problem in your marriage. It is common for victims of verbal abuse to deny there is a problem or allow their spouses to convince them they are not being verbally abused. Before you can move forward in the process of coping with verbal abuse, you must accept the problem is really there.
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Self-examine yourself to identify and understand why you allow the abuse to happen. It is not you fault you are being verbally abused but you are responsible for allowing it to happen and continue. This can be due to a fear of abandonment, abuse in previous relationships and/or low self-esteem, among other things. You can gain insight as to why you allow this to happen by reflecting on your past relationships and behavior.
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Confront your spouse. You must let your spouse know they are verbally abusing you. Calmly express to them that the way they speak to you is hurtful and explain the exact things they say that hurt and why.
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Tell your spouse the abuse must desist and set firm consequences. You have to let your spouse know that you will no longer tolerate their abuse and there will be consequences if it continues.
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Seek marriage counseling. A marriage counselor can look at your relationship objectively as a third party and offer expert advice you and your spouse can follow to end the verbal abuse.
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References
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Comments
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Here's one for all of you out there sick and tired of your other half using the "F" word or any other derogatory language when "speaking" to you.........Like to know if anyone ever sucessfully gets past #3.
