How do I Cope With the Pain of Separation & Divorce?
Going through a separation and divorce is a stressful and emotional time. In addition to suffering the emotional effects of a breakup, there are often practical changes, such as having to juggle finances and explain to family and friends what has happened. According to experts on divorce (see references), it is normal to feel upset and frustrated during this process, and at times it may feel like it will never get any better. These experts suggest ways to make the transition of divorce less painful.
Other People Are Reading
Instructions
-
-
1
Accept you feelings. "Like most people, you're likely to experience a roller coaster of emotions...you'll have good days and bad days, give yourself time," Relate divorce experts advise. It's okay to feel anxious and frightened about the future. Emotions are your brains way of coping with the change, and accepting them and letting them pass will make the process much easier.
-
2
Allow yourself some time. For a while, you will probably feel shell-shocked, and it's normal to struggle to complete tasks and to have much lower productivity. The range of emotions is very draining, and you will probably feel tired and sore. Give yourself slightly longer to get things done, and lower the pressure on yourself.
-
-
3
Talk to family and friends. Your support network will be invaluable; prevent feelings of loneliness and isolation by arranging meetings with friends, and forcing yourself to go. Talk about how you feel, and how you are coping, and about completely irrelevant things. Try to take your mind off the break up, even if only for a little while. Relate experts recommend; "Keep talking. Talking is the best way to prevent isolation and help maintain perspective."
-
4
Remind yourself that you do have a future, and do things to remind yourself. It's normal to feel a little lost when you lose the hopes and dreams you had with your partner, so build your own future, and give yourself something to look forward too. Buy travel magazines about places you've always wanted to go, and look at joining clubs you'd enjoy.
-
5
Consider whether you need outside help. Relate advises: "If days seem to be getting worse rather then better, make an appointment to see a counselor." Therapists are trained to deal with divorces and separations, and may be able to help you move on faster or just give you someone to talk too and be completely open with.
-
1
Tips & Warnings
Creating a routine for yourself could help you feel less lost in the first few weeks, and give you a sense of normality and security amid the chaos.
