How to Be Superstitious

Have you ever said "gesundheit," feared the dark or run from a black cat? If so, you were giving credence to a superstition. Listed below are more of the sometimes practical, sometimes ludicrous, and sometimes dangerous customs our ancestors implemented in their battle against the unknown.

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

1. Dread the darkness. Empathize with ancient people, who had every reason to be afraid of the dark because they lived in endless forests, vast deserts and great plains, where prowling beasts lurked behind every shadow.

2. Cringe whenever a black cat crosses your path. Medieval people thought that black cats were mascots for witches; the cats became witches after seven years of service.

3. Remember that a dog's howl means imminent death. Primitive people, awed by a canine's uncanny ability to detect enemies and locate prey, determined that dogs must have the ability to see invisible demons.

4. Snap your fingers while whistling for your dog, a tradition implemented by early humans who believed that evil spirits would answer if they whistled for their hounds. They snapped their fingers as contrary magic.

5. Assume that fish is a brain food and concur with 19th-century chemist Jean Dumas. Dumas concluded that fish is rich in phosphorous, a major component of the brain.

6. Sign a 99-year, rather than a 100-year lease. Long-term leases are usually penned for an odd number of years because old-timers believed that when it came to material possessions, even numbers were influenced by evil forces.

7. Say "gesundheit" or "bless you" when someone sneezes, a custom from early men and women who believed that the spirit resided in the head. They assumed that a sneeze might accidentally discharge this spirit unless God prevented it.

8. Wear earrings as amulets for protection from evil spirits. Sailors believed that a pierced ear with a ring through it meant better eyesight.

9. Carry an acorn to ensure good luck and a long life.

Tips & Warnings

• If you carry a rabbit's foot for good luck, make certain the rabbit was killed by a cross-eyed person under a full moon. Also, it should be the rabbit's left hind foot, and it should reside in a left pocket.
• If you must walk under a ladder, there are three ways to break the hex: Stop long enough to make a wish, quickly cross your fingers, or close your right fist and stick your thumb between your index and middle fingers.
• Remember, a black cat crossing your path might actually be a witch or even a devil in disguise.
• Break a mirror and you'll be prevented from seeing some sad event that will take place in your life. From this assumption, primitives derived the idea that a death would occur in the family within one year after the breaking of a mirror.

[PhunkyNun]

on 11/23/2006 Always refuse to try on your friends' new engagement rings, as you will die an old maid if you do, whether or not you are already married.

on 7/2/2006 If you pretend to be superstitious, you will be cursed with bad luck, so believe or don't.

on 11/22/2005 Recoil in horror if someone opens an umbrella in the house. Obtain a clove of garlic and rub it immediately on the offender's forehead. If he or she doesn't flatten you, the curse will be amazingly avoided. Vociferously insist on tossing a pinch of any spilled salt over your left shoulder. Loudly and embarrassingly admonish anyone who rocks an empty rocking chair. Regale the offender with horrific tales of death, a death that will be his or her direct responsibility as a result of his or her actions. Stories of puppies and parents' deaths are the most effective.