How to engage in active listening

Active listening can help you understand another person's point of view.

The term active listening refers to the act of listening closely to another person and working with her to communicate effectively and gain mutual understanding. Active listening is a useful tool that can help resolve conflicts, teach people to understand the feelings of others directly and sharpen their overall effectiveness in the workplace and at home with family. Engaging in active listening requires sharp focus and close attention to another person's words. Master this skill and you may greatly help to strengthen your interpersonal relationships.

Instructions

1. Paraphrase what the other person has said. One of the most essential skills in using active listening is to pay close attention to another person's words. Listen to every single word the person who is talking to you says. Note the use of adjectives, verbs and other descriptive language. At appropriate intervals when the speaker has paused for breath state what the person has said in your own words. Don't impose your own meaning on the person's words. Use the time to indicate that you understand her basic message and what she is trying to convey as she speaks during this period.

2. Observe the other person's body language. Body language plays a crucial rule in communicating our feelings and thoughts to others. A person may indicate emotions as he crosses or uncrosses his legs during a speech. Note how his eyes move as well as where her gaze goes as she speaks. Pay attention to other aspects of his communication such as hand gestures and how closely she sits to you. Body language has meaning. Pay attention to it as someone speaks, and you can learn much about what he means.

3. Tune out distractions. Active listening requires focusing directly on someone's words. Put down your iPod when someone speaks. Ignore the person next to you who is singing or muttering. Try not to let your own thoughts wander as you listen to her voice. Think about what he is saying rather than thinking about what you want to say when it is your turn to speak.

4. Focus on the speaker's emotions. As a speaker talks he often conveys emotions as well. Think about what emotions underlie the person's words. A sense of happiness, nervousness or despair can be gleaned even if the person is using similar wording by the tone they use as he speaks. Understanding the emotions he is attempting to bring to their words can help you fully understand what she truly means.

References

• University of Colorado: Active Listening
• University of Vermont: Center for Rural Studies: Active Listening