How to Date a Workaholic Male

When his work causes you to feel alone, it's time to improve your life on your own.

When dating a workaholic male, it may seem like you're second fiddle to his career goals. Whether it's college or two jobs, a man who works more than he cuddles doesn't amount to much fun. After a while, feelings of neglect, abandonment, and depression may take a severe enough toll that the relationship founders. In order to keep your hard-working man along with your sanity, it's necessary to build an independent, full life that keeps you happy while he's not around.

Things You'll Need

• Friends to socialize with
• A hobby

Instructions

1. Change your views of his workaholism. Rather than seeing his career as an imposition on your together time, view it as a means to build a better future together. This change in mentality will help to color the separation in a more positive light.

2. Create meaningful events out of the time you have together. According to Essence Magazine advice columnist Finesse, "If your guy's genuinely into you, then Mr. Luvah-Luvah shouldn't mind your meeting him on weekends for lunch at one of his jobs". She also suggests meeting the boyfriend at his house after work for a quick game or intimate time, rather than depending on the normal date night.

3. Socialize with friends and cultivate hobbies to keep from becoming overly dependent on his company. A person with a full social life will have little time to realize that her boyfriend is working the night shift. Says iVillage psychologist and author Dr. Brenda Shoshanna, "Develop your closeness with friends and do things that are meaningful to you---even if they are not meaningful to your boyfriend. A relationship should be two full whole people, sharing with each other".

4. Set goals to achieve on your own to grow your sense of self. Individuality is something that enhances a relationship and keeps one from depending on the other too much. By chasing after a goal of your own, you create experiences that make for interesting conversation and life-changing accomplishments.

Tips & Warnings

• Although your loneliness might cause you to want to cling, don't do this. Neediness will turn your boyfriend off and may kill the relationship.

References

• Essence: Ask Finesse: Should I Leave My Workaholic Man?
• iVillage: My Boyfriend is a Workaholic