How to Write & Mail a Wedding Invitation

Write and mail your wedding invitations according to traditional etiquette.

Planning your wedding invitations can be confusing, as there is a proper way to word the invitations, address the envelopes, stuff them and mail them. The appropriate etiquette for doing all of these depends on how formal your wedding is, as well as the type of invitation you use. There are specific ways of writing and mailing your wedding invitations to keep with tradition.

Instructions

Writing the Invitation

1. Handwrite the invitations for small, informal weddings, or have invitations printed or embossed for larger or formal weddings.

2. Dictate who is hosting the wedding. "Mr. and Mrs. Jonathon Michael Sims request..." if the parents of the bride are hosting, "Together with their parents, Sarah Mae Sims and Simon David Perkins" if the couple and their parents are hosting or "Sarah Mae Sims and Simon David Perkins invite you to share in their joyous occasion" if the couple is hosting. Use titles and full names for a formal wedding, or the couple's first names only for a casual wedding.

3. Establish the formality and location of the wedding by writing "The honor of your presence is requested" for a church ceremony, "The pleasure of your company" for a formal wedding not held in a church, or a phrase such as "Join us" for a casual wedding. The phrase can come before or after the names of the wedding hosts.

4. Spell out the date, time and location no matter how formal or informal your wedding will be. For example:

   on Saturday, the second day of April

   two thousand eleven

   at two o'clock in the afternoon

   Wedding Hotel

   Wedding Town, California

Mailing the Invitations

1. Handwrite the name and address of your guests, no matter how formal or informal your wedding. Writing the address by hand shows proper etiquette, as it's more personal. Ask a friend or family member who has good penmanship, or hire a calligrapher, if you don't have nice handwriting or simply have too many invitations to address and too little time.

2. Write the titles and full names of adult guests on the outer envelope. If neither guest has a formal title, simply write "Mr. and Mrs. Eric Ray Smith." If the invitation is going to a couple with different last names, write "Mr. Adam James Carson" on the first line and "Ms. Danielle Samantha Vasquez" on the second line. List the names alphabetically. If one guest has a formal title, write "Doctor Ashley Jane Stevens and Mr. Roger Jay Stevens." A colonel and his wife would read "Colonel and Mrs. Robert James Tuft." A single person plus guest would only have the invitee's name on the outer envelope. Minor children's names do not appear on the outer envelope unless you are not using an inner envelope. These guidelines apply to formal and casual weddings.

   Write the street address on the next line, and the city, state and zip code on the line after that.

3. Name everyone invited, including minor children, in a less formal manner on the inner envelope. For example, for a couple with three children, include the father, mother and each child listed by age: "Mr. and Mrs. Stevens, Jenna, Michael and Jesse." For a single person who is invited to bring a guest, write "Ms. Mitchell and Guest." List only "Ms. Mitchell" on the outer envelope if the invitee is in a committed relationship but the couple do not live together; list both by name on the inner envelope, as in "Ms. Mitchell and Mr. Douglas."

4. Put any enclosures on top of the invitation, with the largest item on the bottom and going up according to size. The invitation should face up, as should the enclosures. Anything that has an envelope, such as an RSVP card, should be tucked under the flap of its envelope.

5. Slide the invitation and enclosure stack in the inner envelope with the writing facing up. The inner envelope should fit in the outer envelope facing up so that your guests will see their names on the inner envelope as they open the invitation.

Tips & Warnings

• Completely assemble one invitation and have it weighed at the post office to ensure you have the proper postage for your invitations. You don't want all of them coming back to you because you did not affix enough postage.

• Include a self-addressed, stamped envelope for the RSVP cards. Lightly mark each card with a number in pencil on the back side in case you can't read your guests' writing or they forget to fill in their names when returning the cards.

• Ask the post office for hand canceling, so that the invitations are processed by hand and will avoid damage from automated machines or sorters. This is a free service offered by the post office.

References

• My Personal Artist: Wedding Etiquette--How to Write Your Wedding Invitations
• ForeverWed: Invitations--Assembling Invitations to Mail
• My Gatsby: Mailing Wedding Invitations
• Somewhere in Time--Calligraphy by Computer: Wedding Invitation Envelope Addressing Etiquette
• My Gatsby: The Proper Way to Address Wedding Invitations

Resources

• The Knot: Wedding Invitations--Etiquette Q&A