How to Write Words of Sympathy
Writing words of sympathy requires empathy (understanding and attempting to feel someone else's pain) as well as patience and sensitivity. The bereaved cannot process much information at this point in time and only expects a simple but warm expression of condolence. A friend or an associate is capable of providing encouragement and comfort in this challenging time.
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Instructions
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Show empathy. Try to put yourself in the bereaved person's situation. Think about the individual who died. What comes to your mind when thinking about this person?
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Make the letter personal. Mention the deceased's name and the circumstances that caused the loss of life. Speak honestly. There is no need to avoid mentioning the word “death” or the cause of death. Share your personal sadness.
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Express genuine appreciation for the deceased person's accomplishments. Personalize your expressions by sharing a memorable moment you had with the deceased person. You could also mention special qualities of the person that you admired or funny experiences you shared. For example, “{Name} was so creative” or “{Name} was an important part of the team.”
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Write the letter to be simple and genuine. The grieving party does not want to read a lengthy letter at this time. A heart that is in pain finds it difficult to process a great deal of information. Sending your condolences is enough for the time being. If the letter seems long-winded, consider deleting a few sentences.
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Write descriptively and use a dictionary if necessary. Look for words that embody what the person is experiencing. Instead of dwelling on the pain, remind the grieving person of his or her own personal strengths. Remember, the bereaved may read your words over and over again throughout the years for comfort and healing.
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Address the card appropriately. You may direct the card to the whole family or to perhaps one person in the family to whom you are closest.
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Conclude your letter or note with a simple but loving expression. Words of encouragement, expressions of love, poems and scriptures are appropriate. Words of sympathy should not be depressing, but uplifting. Focus on positive memories and the happy legacy of the deceased. If you offer a poem or scripture, keep it brief.
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Tips & Warnings
A good timeframe for your letter or note is within a two-week period. While there are numerous store-bought cards available, finding the right tone and the perfect expression can be challenging. Handwrite the letter on befitting stationery and personalize the message for the best results.
Your words of sympathy are appropriate for any number of scenarios, including the loss of loved ones, the loss of a home, the loss of a job and the loss of a pet. (Yes, a pet can certainly be a “member of the family!") Remember, when you have empathy, sympathy becomes much easier to write.
Beware of clichés. Well-meaning people speak before they think. Choose your words wisely. Avoid thoughtless expressions like, “It's all for the best,” “I know how you feel,” or “At least he's no longer in pain.” Show sensitivity by not assuming you understand the recipient's pain.
References
Resources
- Photo Credit woman writing image by jimcox40 from Fotolia.com
