How to Help Women in Domestic Violence

Reach out to a woman if you suspect she's being abused.

Victims of domestic violence are often ashamed, scared and isolated. These feelings make it difficult for women in abusive situations to reach out and get help when they need it. If you suspect a friend, family member or colleague is being abused, trust your instincts and take time to talk to them. While it's important to remember you can't force someone to leave an abusive relationship, you can be a friend and help point them in the right direction.

Instructions

1. Initiate a conversation in private, in a safe location away from the abuser. Let the victim know of your suspicions. Tell her that you're concerned for her well being and you want to help her.

2. Empathize with her and reassure her that the abuse is not her fault. Don't be judgemental, critical or use guilt tactics. Be understanding and respect her choices. Offer your ongoing support and let her know you're a trusted friend who will listen to her and acknowledge her difficult situation.

3. Attempt to get her to participate in activities with friends and family, without the abuser. Victims of domestic violence often feel helpless because the abuser isolates them. Encouraging friendships can help rebuild her self confidence.

4. Offer advice and help her develop a safety plan to use if and when she decides to leave. This can include having a safe place to go at a moment's notice. She may also find it helpful to have a suitcase packed with extra clothes, medication and emergency money. Let her store this at your house if needed.

5. Provide her with contact information for a local domestic violence agency or women's shelter. Offer to go with her to talk to counselors, police or a lawyer.

6. Be supportive after she leaves the abusive relationship. Victims may experience mixed emotions about ending their ties with their abuser, and may miss them or feel lonely and confused. Don't belittle these feelings, and always be sympathetic and understanding.

Tips & Warnings

• The National Domestic Violence Hotline is open 24 hours. Call 1-800-799-7233 if you have questions and concerns.

• Contact your local police if you feel you or a friend is in immediate danger.

References

• The National Domestic Violence Hotline: How Can I Help A Friend Or Family Member Who Is Being Abused?
• Redbook: Save A Womans Life Just By Asking Her How She's Doing
• National Domestic Violence Hotline: Safety Planning

Resources

• The National Domestic Violence Hotline: Get Help-Help In Your Area