How to Get Help for an Abusive Husband

Abused women often find it difficult to leave their husbands, but doing so is the surest way to stay safe.

Women in abusive marriages often feel powerless or hopeless about their situation. Abusive husbands often manipulate their wives into thinking that there's no point in leaving or that they deserve the abuse. The truth is that no woman deserves to be abused, and men who abuse their wives need help. Getting help for an abusive husband is important for the safety and well-being of the entire family.

Instructions

1. Protect yourself and your children. Whether you're living with a man who is physically, emotionally or sexually abusive, you and your children need to live in a safe place. Arrange to stay with family or friends or at a women's shelter where your husband won't be able to harm you.

2. Seek counseling. Getting help from a counselor will help your husband realize that what he's doing is not okay. A counselor can also help him understand his abusive tendencies and why he is that way, ultimately helping him to learn healthier ways of dealing with his emotions.

3. Find an anger management class. An abusive husband needs to learn how to deal with his anger in a healthier way. Life will always have stressful moments, so he needs to learn how to cope with those situations when they come up without lashing out at his family.

Tips & Warnings

• A restraining order against your husband makes it a crime for him to come near you and your children.

• Keep detailed records of all instances of abuse, including time, date and events leading up to the abuse. If your husband is physically violent, take pictures of any marks on your body. This is important in the event that your husband denies his abusive behavior to police or in court.

• Do not continue living with an abusive husband. It only puts you and your children in danger.

• Your husband may become angry when you leave and when you try to seek help for him. This is normal behavior for abusive men. Let him know that unless he gets help, there is no chance of the two of you rebuilding your marriage.

• Many abusive men repeat the same patterns throughout their life. It's possible that you'll never be able to rebuild your marriage. Keep your safety and your children's a priority.

References

• PBS: Abusive Men Need to Get Help
• Aurora Health Care: Help for abusive men
• Authors Den: Top 10 Signs of An Abusive Men