How to Tell Your Husband Is Cheating

Has your husband forgotten what his ring means?

If you suspect your husband is cheating, it's more than simple women's intuition at work. Your suspicions are likely founded on some changes in his behavior, particularly if your hubby has made a number of changes to his typical habits, both in obvious and more subtle ways. While this can be a painful realization, resist the urge to confront him immediately. Instead, take some time to investigate before you make any accusations---that way, you'll be prepared with evidence when the time comes to have a face-to-face conversation about his infidelity.

Things You'll Need

• Computer
• Notes
• Phone

Instructions

1. Take a step back and evaluate your relationship, then begin recording any significant changes. Has your husband stopped sharing details of his life or work with you when he used to tell you everything? Have his romantic gestures toward you changed, including those of a sexual nature? Has he started leaving the house without telling or inviting you, put an abrupt stop to cuddling or affection, or begun picking fights over trivial matters that normally wouldn't be of consequence?

2. 

   You can learn a lot from your husband's dirty laundry

   Inspect his clothing. Smell his shirts for the telltale scent of another woman's perfume. Examine them for traces of makeup. It's not uncommon to find notes, phone numbers, receipts and even condom wrappers shoved into a cheating husband's pockets. If you do find anything suspicious, put it away and revisit those pocket finds when you face your husband with proof. Record the dates of these discoveries.

3. Be aware of how much time your husband supposedly spends at work. If your husband has long been a nine-to-five kind of guy, but is suddenly piling on the overtime---the evidence of which doesn't show up on his paycheck---he's using one of the oldest tricks in the book to disguise an affair. Staying late at the office or going on sudden business trips are the married man's go-to excuses for covering up his late-night liaisons.

4. 

   A mistress can be expensive to maintain

   Monitor where the money is going. Pay careful attention to your banking and credit account details. You'll be looking for odd patterns, or anything that sticks out as unusual. Your account statement will reveal if your husband's deposits are a bit smaller than normal, alert you to cash withdrawals you weren't privy to and highlight unusual and/or large expenses. These statements also should indicate where that money is being spent, so look for restaurants, flower shops, hotels and the like.

5. Check for aberrant computer activity. Most husbands who cheat can't help but communicate with their lovers via email. He may troll the Internet for women by posting singles ads, or develop a new pornography habit. Check his Internet history, but odds are he's become diligent about deleting this information immediately. This behavior alone is a fairly strong indicator he is hiding something big.

   Pay attention to when and how he uses the computer. Cheating spouses often chit-chat using instant messaging or email late at night. If you wake up at 4:00 a.m. alone in bed and see the computer's glow coming from the office or den, it's certainly worth getting up to check out the situation.

6. 

   Cheating husbands rely on the phone, making it very easy to follow his calls

   Take note of your husband's telephone habits. If the home phone rings once or twice, and your husband retreats to another part of the house, chances are there's another woman on the line. Other clues include frequent hang-ups when you answer the phone. Your husband may start erasing all incoming and outgoing calls from his cell, as well as the caller ID.

   Look for patterns on the phone bill. Are there several calls to and from one particular phone number you don't recognize? Does your husband make or receive excessive calls while commuting to and from work, or when he knows you'll be out?

7. 

   You can always hire someone to keep an eye on your husband

   An easy way to tell if your husband is cheating is basically to spy on him. If he says he has a late-night business meeting at a local restaurant, take a cruise through the restaurant's parking lot to see if his car is there. If it is, he's either really at a meeting or he's out with his fling. Wait in the parking lot to see who he exits with---just be prepared for a fast and potentially tear-filled dash to beat him home.

   You can turn to a private investigator to do most of the legwork for you. He will likely help produce the evidence you need to confront your husband about his cheating.

8. 

Tips & Warnings

• Perform your due diligence before accusing your husband of cheating.

• Document any suspicious occurrences, discoveries or activities, as this could be useful should an acrimonious legal drama ensue.

• In the end, listen to what your instincts are telling you.

• Prepare yourself to uncover a painful truth.

• Avoid hacking into your husband's email account; not only will he find out, but you'll only succeed in upsetting yourself.

• If you decide to hire someone to tell if your husband is cheating, be sure you've found a reputable, highly recommended investigator.

References

• Is My Husband/Wife Having an Affair?
• Signs Of An Affair
• 5 Indicators Your Husband Is Having An Affair