How to Write a Character Reference for Child Custody

A reference letter helps determine the outcome in a custody case.

In order to win a child custody case, a parent usually needs a character reference. According to GurusofLaw.com, the reference provides insight into the parent's state of mind and behavior. The reference helps decide if the parent is fit for custody. Relatives, friends, neighbors and coworkers can write character references.

Instructions

1. Make a list. Write down specific examples of why you think the parent is fit to raise the child. If your examples sound exaggerated, it will count against the parent. Keep the list simple and believable. Mention how the parent takes the child to school each morning. Describe how the parent and child play together after school. Give examples showing how the parent treats the child in general. The list is your chance to gather your thoughts, and decide what to say in the letter.

2. Write your opening statement. Let the reader know who you are and why you are writing. Use friendly, conversational English. An example opening statement would be, "My name is Paula Grant. This letter is to show my support of Larry Doyle gaining custody of his daughter, Pam Doyle. I am Larry's next door neighbor, and we have been friends for 15 years."

3. Write the body of the letter. This section is normally one or two paragraphs. Use one or two examples from your list to complete this section. Keep the tone friendly, as if you are writing to a friend.

   You could write something like, "Larry's parenting skills are top-notch. He has been Pam's primary caregiver since her birth. Larry always does whatever is best for his daughter. He goes to work an hour later in order to take Pam to school every morning. Instead of eating during his lunch break, he gets Pam from school and takes her to his mother's house."

4. Write your closing statement. Include your contact information and signature as well. Remind the reader of your support for the parent. Keep this section to one paragraph.

   For example, "I believe Larry is the best person to care for his daughter. He has grown as a parent, and shows how much he loves and respects his daughter. Pam is fortunate to have Larry for a father. If you have any questions concerning Larry, please contact me at 123-555-7890."

Tips & Warnings

• Do not write a character reference just because you feel guilty saying no.

• If you do not know the parent well enough to write a reference, refuse their request to write it.

References

• GurusOfLaw