How to Determine If Motives Are True
Behind every action lies a motive. Motive is defined as "a thought or feeling that makes a person act." A little honest self-reflection can go a long way toward determining your own motives. Things get a bit more complicated when your goal is to determine if the motives of someone else in your life are true. In the absence of honing such a perception, you run the risk of falling prey to disingenuous people. There is no foolproof test for determining if another person's motives are true, but there are still some things you can look out for.
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Instructions
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Pay attention to a person's actions. Oprah frequently quotes Dr. Maya Angelou's counsel to her to remember, "When someone shows you who they are, believe them, the first time!" It's guidance that dates back at least as far as biblical times. Remember Matthew 7:20 "By their fruits you shall know them." If a person, through some action, demonstrates dishonesty or a deficiency of integrity, you should pay attention to what they're telling you about themselves with their behavior. Don't make up excuses for them. A person can tell you anything with their words which may or may not truthfully reflect their real intentions. But it's more difficult to conceal true intentions by way of actions. Actions speak louder than words because actions are initiated by motives.
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Be wary of people who seem to be trying too hard--there may be an ulterior motive at work. When someone gives you the impression of trying too hard, consider that there may be a self-seeking reason behind their efforts. Something personal could be at stake for this person. This person may be trying to get an inner need met through their outward actions. And until you know what this need is, you would be wise to be cautious.
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Listen to your intuition. Your intuition can reveal a lot about a person or a situation. Intuition is "information we cannot justify" (at least not immediately). It's knowing without the benefit of reason or prior experience. In contrast to rational thinking, intuition does not require conscious effort because intuition is not born from logical conclusions. Intuition is based on the paradoxical idea that sometimes you know more when you know less. This knowing manifests as a "gut feeling." To authenticate intuitive impressions, ask yourself can the feeling I experienced really not be explained by a rationale? Remember--intuition is not based on reason. Does this feeling come with an urge to carry out some specific action? Intuition always encourages an explicit action ("Run!" for instance). Determine is this feeling seems to come from your head or your gut? Is this feeling constructive in quality? Authentic intuition will never urge you to be destructive or do harm.
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References
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