How to Deal With Abuse During Divorce

Dealing with physical and mental abuse during a divorce is tricky. You must protect yourself from your abusive spouse during this time frame, or it could have disastrous results. Spouses often don't realize that they are abusing you, or if they do realize it, they may threaten you to keep you quiet. Keeping quiet is the last thing you should do if you are being abused.

Instructions

1. Tell people about the abuse. Tell your family and friends; they will help support you during this time of your life. Tell his family. His family might not want to listen to you, but they may also try to get him help. Part of the power that he has over you is that you are ashamed and you are trying to keep it quiet. Do not keep it quiet. The more people that know about the abuse, the harder it is for him to abuse you.

2. Make sure you are never alone during the divorce proceedings. Surround yourself with friends and loved ones. Do not go to the mall or the grocery store alone. Do not give him a chance to find you and hurt you. If you are with other people, he will be less likely to attack you.

3. Report the abuse to the local police. The police will have a file on your husband because of your reports, and it will be easier to file a restraining order with the local court.

4. 

   File a restraining order with the local court. The court clerks will help you by answering any questions that you might have. Make sure you keep a copy. This will be a legal document that says he can not come near your place of residence or work. Sometimes, it will be put in writing that he cannot come within 100 feet of you. If he does he will be arrested.

5. 

   Get counseling. It is important to have a place where you feel safe to go over the emotional aspects of being abused. You might not want to go in detail with family and friends; talking to a counselor is a way to let everything out without anyone judging you so that you can start healing again.

Tips & Warnings

• Change your locks. Don't let your spouse have the key to your dwelling.

• Stay with friends. Do not let your spouse find you alone.

• Improve outdoor lighting. Add extra lighting outside so you can see if he is coming to the door.

• Do not get into an argument with the spouse.

• Do not let him touch you.

• Do not let the spouse threaten you into silence.

References

• The National Domestic Violence Hotline: Get Educated
• Divorce Information: Spousal Emotional Abuse during Divorce -- What you can do
• Divorce HQ: Domestic Violence