How to Break Up Peacefully

By eHow Relationships & Family Editor

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If you're ready to end a relationship, consider how you can break up without conflict.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

Things You’ll Need:

Step1
Acknowledge that the relationship is really over. Come to terms with your own feelings and make a firm decision to end the relationship.
Step2
Don't delay the inevitable. Once you decide to break up with your partner, immediately think about how, when and where you will take action.
Step3
Make sure you're the one who personally delivers the news. Don't give a third party the opportunity to tell your partner that you want to break up before you have the chance to discuss the matter alone.
Step4
Select a private place to meet with your partner to end the relationship.
Step5
Find or schedule an appropriate time. Approach the topic when both of you are calm and rational. Don't announce your intention to break up during a heated argument or a moment of anger.
Step6
Show your resolve by being firm, decisive and honest. Help your partner understand why you want to end the relationship. Be tactful, not brutal.
Step7
Remind your partner that you'll never forget the positive qualities in your relationship, but emphasize that you're ready to move on with your life.
Step8
Give your partner the closure that he or she needs to accept the breakup; answer questions and talk it over instead of leaving loose ends.
Step9
Stay positive as you both make plans to go your separate ways.

Tips & Warnings

  • Let go of old grievances during a breakup. The end of a relationship isn't the appropriate time to bring up old grudges.
  • If your partner does not agree to the breakup, don't allow him or her to manipulate you into staying in the relationship.

Comments

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WeeSandy said

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on 5/25/2007 IF THERE IS ABUSE - If you are leaving an abusive relationship, you will need to be well prepared beforehand, and well protected during and afterward. By far the most common time for an abusive man to kill his partner is when she tries to end the relationship.

1. Make sure that you have an "emergency kit" prepared in advance. This should include keys, ID (for yourself and your children!), money, important receipts or other documents, and contact information. Also have ready an overnight bag with clothing, medications, snack foods, etc. If you can get your emergency kit and overnight bag out ahead of time, that might turn out to be very helpful if you have to make a very quick escape.

2. Inform your Family Services or Welfare office, and/or your local Women's Centre or Crisis Centre in advance. Ask them for advice and protection.

Anonymous

Anonymous said

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on 11/22/2005 Be calm about it. If you act outraged or torn up, the other person will feel uncomfortable and sometimes say the wrong things. Be considerate to each other, and let your true feelings flow.

Anonymous

Anonymous said

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on 11/22/2005 Think carefully before you act. Don't use stock phrases. Don't hide faults or mistakes. If you have failings or have made mistakes, acknowledge them - it's better that they hear it from you. If they have failings of their own, tell them, but do it kindly. Beware of promises made only to keep you. Listen to what they say, but be realistic about what there is between you and what it can become. Love is a shared thing, and by this stage it will need teamwork to fix. Are you on the same team? Remember that you are hurting them, and be sure you are doing the right thing. Treat them with respect and minimize unnecessary hurt. Apologize, make it good and clean, and move on.

Anonymous

Anonymous said

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on 11/22/2005 If you're with a girl/guy that has ever had any cutting problems or anything, be very delicate. Make them promise not to do anything bad. Be easier on them than a normal person. You don't want that on your conscience, believe me...

Anonymous

Anonymous said

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on 1/15/2008 I just recently broke up with a girlfriend of two years because our relationship had kinda burnt out. We have always been friends even before the relationship, and we will continue to be. Therefore after the break-up, that we both felt comming on, we went out to dinner together. It was a nice way to close the relationship.

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eHow Article:  How to Break Up Peacefully

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