How to Overcome Jealousy in Marriage

Overcoming jealousy is a step toward securing your marriage

Jealousy is a volatile emotion that can destroy a marriage. Whether you are the victim or perpetrator of jealousy in your marriage, overcoming feelings of envy and suspicion can be the difference between a lasting relationship and one headed for a break-up. Building or rebuilding a foundation of trust can make both partners in a marriage feel secure and valued.

Instructions

Conquering Jealousy in Your Marriage

1. Evaluate the feelings or behaviors that ended your previous romantic relationships. Write down your answers and review them to identify any trends or consistencies that may be influencing your current behavior or feelings.

2. Prepare to have a conversation with your partner by writing down a series of "I statements" about your feelings. Your statements should read, "When I...I feel...because." A sample sentence may be, "When I wait for you to come home late from work, I feel anxious because I worry that you are with another man." Do not write accusatory "You statements" ("When you are late from work you make me feel anxious because you are with another man").

3. Bring your written lists to share with your partner in an open conversation. Share the experiences of your previous relationships and read your "I statements" out loud. Tell your partner that you are seeking clarity and truth; do not assume to already have the answers if you do not.

4. Reassure your partner of your love and attraction by using specific and unsolicited complements. Instead of saying, "I like your dress," try, "When you wear that dress it reminds me of what you looked like on our first date." Be specific about the traits you love and admire about your partner to help curb her insecurities, which can lead to jealousy.

5. Seek the unbiased opinion of a third party. You may ask for advice from a coworker or mutual friend. Avoid asking for advice from family members who may favor one side or the other.

6. Reach out to a professional marriage counselor for help resolving issues of jealousy in your marriage. A counselor may conduct sessions with you and your partner, or she may conduct one-on-one sessions with just one party. A counselor will provide specific instructions or feedback for your particular relationships concerns.

References

• Hitched Mag: Overcome Jealousy in Your Marriage
• Families: Marriage Tips: Jealousy is Not A Positive Sign

Resources

• Therapist Locator: US Search