How to Write a Eulogy Poem
A eulogy poem, also called an elegy, honors someone who has died. As the writer, you want to present a poem that is as meaningful as possible. In the past, elegies often began by discussing the natural world, which would then turn symbolically and literally to a discussion of the deceased. But you do not need to do that. The truth is that there is no right or wrong way to write an elegy, but there are techniques you can use that will help you to avoid writing a poem that sounds contrived and that will make your poem resonate with meaning and authenticity.
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Instructions
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Free write your thoughts about the deceased. If you're stuck, start with the words "I remember...," and then describe your loved one's physical appearance or an event that you were at together. To free write means to let your thoughts run wild as you write them down without worrying about grammar, punctuation or whether you stay on topic or not. You may find yourself describing the tree outside your front door. If so, that's OK; your subconscious may meanwhile be making connections of which your conscious mind is unaware. It may help to give yourself a time limit to force your mind to start making connections.
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Review what you have written, and shape the most meaningful material into a poem. Don't worry about rhyme; sincere language makes its own music. Instead, pare out every unnecessary word, and avoid words like "truly", "memories" and "soul" that have become cliché from overuse. Then break the sentences into lines.
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Let the warts show. No one is perfect, not even the dead. Acknowledging your loved one's faults without dwelling on them will lend sincerity to the elegy. One image or a few lines will suffice to create the fullness of the deceased's humanity. In his poem "Elegy for Jane," Theodore Roethke mentions his subject's tendency to pout when he says, "Oh, when she was sad, she cast herself down into such a pure depth, even a father could not find her... ." Without this reference, the poem might be unrealistic and overly sweet.
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Use the commonly known "show, don't tell" rule by giving your readers a picture in words, also known as imagery; doing so will help your readers to visualize or otherwise sense the subject as she was when she was living rather than remember her as an abstraction. For example, in "Elegy for Jane", Theodore Roethke opens with "I remember the neck curls, limp and damp as tendrils... ." He does not describe her as "pretty"; instead he describes her looks and demeanor in concrete visual terms. Take all your descriptive words like "pretty" and "generous," and try to turn each one into a visual or other sensory impression.
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Turn weak verbs, such as "is," "are," "was" and "were" into strong verbs. For example, "She 'had' tendrils" may be turned into "tendrils curled about her neck." Again, this will strengthen your depiction of the subject as someone who was wholly alive rather than as only a memory of someone who was nice.
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Experiment with direct address. If using the third person (he or she) sounds too impersonal, try using the second person (you). In her elegy "How It Is," the poet Maxine Kumin speaks directly to her deceased friend. She says, "I think of the last day of your life, old friend, how I would unwind it, paste it together in a different collage," and we sense that she feels the friend is still listening to her, which helps us to understand the importance of the friend's presence in Kumin's life, without Kumin having to explain it to us.
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Think about poetics if you want, but don't overthink them. Poetics include issues of rhyme, meter, line count and stanza count. You don't want the poem to sound as if you wrote it for a classroom assignment. Let your own voice and style shine through.
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Tips & Warnings
You can often break a line effectively on a noun or strong verb, but avoid breaking a line on a conjunction or preposition. However, if you are reading the poem aloud and no one but you will see it, the line breaks won't matter much.
References
- Photo Credit sacred image by darkages from Fotolia.com
