How to Handle an Elderly Parent Living With You
Caring for an elderly parent who has moved in with you can be both emotionally and physically draining. In addition to handling care for an elderly parent, many adult children are also wrestling career and child care, which can create an overwhelming situation. Find relief and ways to effectively handle living with your parent again by practicing patience and remembering to take at least one day a week for "you time."
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Instructions
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Prepare your home. Before your parent moves in, take steps to ensure the move is a smooth transition. If you have the financial means, hire an outside expert who can assess your home and determine if items such as wheelchair ramps or special handrails are necessary.
You can still prepare your home without the assistance of an expert by evaluating different areas such as bathrooms, the kitchen and access to entryways. Set water heaters to the lowest setting to avoid burns, install smoke detectors with special strobe lights if your parent has hearing loss and set up a carbon monoxide detector. The elderly and the very young are more susceptible to being poisoned by even low concentrations of carbon monoxide.
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Establish ground rules. Instead of barking your ground rules or orders to your parent, sit down and discuss rules you can both agree upon. For example, if you don't want the television on after a certain time at night, suggest that your parent have a television in his room if he wants to stay up late to watch his favorite show. Discuss financial information during ground rule establishment. Lay out your living expenses and how your parent could financially contribute, if possible. Also, discuss your family's daily schedule so the parent understands when you will and will not be available.
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Obtain legal rights over your parent's care. If your parent is experiencing dementia, needs medical care or if a nursing home becomes a possibility, you should have power of attorney to make decisions for your parent. Contact an attorney to discuss this option and the process you must go through to achieve this status.
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Seek professional help. Both mental and physical assistance can help you handle your new living situation. Hire an in-home aid to assist your parent while you are at work or to give you a break. Contact a local hospital or nursing home to inquire about a list of private caregivers. Conduct due diligence by performing a background check to ensure the individual you hire does not have a criminal record.
You should also seek professional help for you and your family. Caring for an elderly parent, especially one with medical issues, can be extremely stressful. Help from a trained psychologist can provide your family with insight as to how to approach difficult situations involving your elderly parent. Getting an outside opinion can also help with resolving hurt feelings from other family members, dealing with depression and confronting fears and anxiety revolving around your new living situation.
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Tips & Warnings
If your parent is still lucid and active, encourage her to get involved in an activity outside the home. Staying socially connected will not only keep your senior parent mentally sharp, but will improve her state of mind. Organizations such as Experience Corps (ExperienceCorps.org) and Senior Corps (SeniorCorps.gov) offer programs and outlets for seniors to get involved in social or philanthropic activities.
Never become verbally or physically abusive if you are frustrated with your elderly parent. If you become overwhelmed, walk outside, catch your breath and return to the situation.
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Resources
- Photo Credit Elderly the man reflects on the lived years image by Ella from Fotolia.com
