How to Build Your Tween's Self Esteem
According to the National Association of Self-Esteem (NASE), self-esteem is difficult to define because it has both psychological and sociological dimensions. However, there is an agreement that self-esteem encompasses cognitive, effective and behavioral elements. A positive self-esteem is based on a sense of competence and worthiness that includes everything from intelligence to body issues. People with low self-esteem are more prone to have difficulties in their lives, such as depression, which can often lead to addiction, violence and suicide. It is also important not to confuse an authentic, healthy self-esteem with a pseudo, unhealthy self-esteem that may mistake narcissism for confidence.
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Instructions
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Boosting Your Tween's Self-Esteem
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Listen but refrain from providing the solution. Let your tween come to her own conclusion about an issue by passing the questions back to her. Help her develop her own abilities to make her own decisions by asking her what she thinks.
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Praise his achievement. Tweens like to impress their parents and seek their praise; however, praise the effort more so than the result. His commitment to set new goals and attempt to try new things is far more important than the outcome.
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Spend quality time with her. Encourage her to pick the activity and make it a consistent habit to spend some time alone with her.
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Keep criticism to a minimum. Most of the time, criticism is often related to minor issues and is not necessary. Choose your construction critiques carefully and save them for major issues that negatively affect your tween's well-being.
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Exclude comparisons. Do not compare your tween to another child. Accept him for who he is, which includes the good and the bad.
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Help her set realistic goals. Instead of focusing on a goal that may seem unreachable, help your tween place her effort in how she plans on reaching the goal. Remind her to take her time and that goals are achieved in small steps.
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Encourage his independence. Agree on safe and age-appropriate ways of having him express his individuality, and extend a bit of freedom to help him exercise his independence.
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Extend positive physical contact. Hugs, kisses, high-fives and warm smiles are all positive contacts that should be consistent with verbal praise.
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Tips & Warnings
Consider seeing a professional, whether it is a therapist for counseling or a nutritionist to help with body image issues.
Instead of focusing on quantity, focus on the quality of the time you spend together. Make sure your tween knows this time is strictly for her.
Spend some time working on your own self-esteem. Tweens are very receptive to how their parents behave. If you are constantly criticizing yourself, your tween will begin to think this is normal and appropriate behavior.
References
Resources
- Photo Credit motherhood image by Yuriy Poznukhov from Fotolia.com
