How to Deal With Death & Losing a Loved One

Planning an activity that honors the memory of your loved one can help you cope with your loss.

You might experience three phases of mourning when dealing with the loss of a loved one, according to the National Cancer Institute's website. In the first phase, you might wish to return the loved one to life. In the second phase of mourning, you experience sadness at the idea that you cannot return your loved one to life. In the final phase, you "reorganize" your life, so that you adjust to the loss.

Instructions

1. Schedule quiet time for yourself as much as possible if you feel tired or need time alone to reflect on your loss. Let friends or relatives know if you do not wish to be disturbed during this adjustment period. If engaging in work or other activities provides a sense of stability, then let sympathizers know that activities help you deal with the separation from the deceased.

2. Recognize that there is no timeline that predicts when one phase of mourning ends and the next phase begins. Be patient with yourself.

3. Understand that the symptoms of grief vary among individuals. You might suffer stomach discomfort while someone else has crying jags and an increased desire to sleep.

4. Realize family member or friends might use different means to cope during the stages of bereavement. The stages of bereavement can be expressed as shock, anxiety caused by separation, and readjustment to life after loss, according to the National Cancer Institution.

5. Investigate ideas that bring you closure. For example, in the case of unexpected or traumatic death, having your questions answered can help you cope with grief.

6. Consider investigating or joining a support group if you feel a sense of isolation. A local hospice group can offer services or connect you with other organizations that address death and dying. Sometimes church or community organizations have names and addresses of groups that extend free counseling services. On its website, the group Bereaved Parents of the USA provides a listing of resources used by the public. Jot down names and numbers of organizations on paper, so that they will be easier for you to recall at a later date.

7. Participate in an activity that honors the memory of your friend or relative when your energy returns. Such activities might be simple such as volunteering for a community program or donating clothes or toys to an organization that serves the public.

Tips & Warnings

• Stress affects your immune system, according to the American Psychological Association. If you are too drained to cook or you experience lack of appetite, keep nutritious snacks such as fruit within easy reach.

• MayoClinic.com distinguishes between normal grief and complicated grief. Symptoms of complicated grief linger longer than those of normal grief. The website suggests that individuals speak to health care providers when, after several months, emotions cause difficulty in engaging in normal routines.

References

• National Cancer Institute: Bereavement, Mourning, and Grief
• Bereaved Parents of the USA: Resources and Links: 2007 - 2010
• American Psychological Association: Stress Weakens the Immune System: 2006
• MayoClininc.com: Complicated Grief