How to Write a Retirement Toast

A retirement toast can be a wonderful addition to an honoring moment, a brief and mood lightening bit of humor, or an absolute embarrassment. Obviously you will want one of the first two rather than the latter. Follow these steps to write and give a retirement toast you can be proud of later.

Instructions

1. Consider whether or not a brief speech is called for prior to the toast.

   A toast is really only a sentence or two (at most three.) However, some people when asking for a toast, are really asking for a brief speech and a toast. If you have been asked to give a toast, find a way to discern the expectations. When in doubt, just write a very brief speech (a few sentences) as a sort of toast preamble and then give your retirement toast. If the retirement toast is a formal part of the event, you are likely being asked to give a short speech.

2. Jot down some notes in two categories about the person you are toasting: humor and honor.

   This brief brainstorm list will give you the raw material for your speech and/or retirement toast. Try to think of things people can laugh at that won't embarrass your toastee. Also think of things you can honor and respect without exaggerating the person's virtue. If you know of something less-known about the person write it down.

3. Write a rough draft of your speech or retirement toast.

   Remember the goal is to be brief, personal, humorous (if possible), but honoring no matter what. The final sentence should start with a 'here's to...' Some ideas for an ending are:
   - Here's to John, may his future be as bright as his past.
   - Here's to Sally, one of the best teachers I have ever known.
   - Here's to Tim, a model worth following.
   - Here's to Jim, and to the legacy he leaves behind him.

4. Time the speech and retirement toast to be brief and flow well.

   If you are writing a brief speech along with the retirement toast you will have space to include both humor and honor from step 2. Then it is usually ideal to switch the mood between the speech and the toast. In a retirement toast, it's a good idea to end on a note of honor, rather than humor. Write your sentences to have a natural, but flowing cadence. Speak them out loud several times to get a feeling for the words. Adjust and edit anything that needs smoothed out.

5. Read this sample speech and retirement toast to get an idea.

   I have worked with Ken for nearly 15 years now and never seen him miss a party with food. (Pause) I have, though, seen him duck out of meetings where he might be honored. So I wasn't sure if you were going to make it today or not, Ken. There isn't an employee among us who better embodies humility, hard work, skill, and concern for others than Ken. So here's to you, Ken, may your future be as bright as your past.

6. Memorize your speech and retirement toast.

   You can put it on a note card as a security blanket, but ideally a retirement toast should be memorized and spoken from the heart. So practice it enough that it is fully committed to memory. Then present it with a loud enough voice for all to hear. At the end of the toast, lift your glass to the retiree and drink to them.

   * See more tips on giving a retirement toast below.

Tips & Warnings

• Be sure your mouth is hydrated before speaking so you don't get cotton mouth.

• Avoid drinking so much yourself that your toast is slurred or embarrassing.

• Project your voice so that those in the back can hear you clearly, or use a microphone.

• Avoid embarrassing the retiree for the sake of humor. This is their retirement toast after all-show some respect.

• See related articles above for more help with speeches and special events.