How to Explain the Loss of a Pet to a Child

Explaining the loss of a pet to children may seem difficult, but getting through it together is the most important part.

Losing a pet is never easy, as pets become like family members. Wanting to protect your child from the death of a pet may be your first instinct, but it's better to be honest and to take a gentle approach when explaining the situation to your child. Being open with your child and helping him through the grieving process is an effective way to get through the pain.

Instructions

1. Understand that children are never to young to grieve and that there are different stages of grief. Denial, isolation, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance are all stages of grief. Grieving the loss of a pet takes time.

2. Express your sorrow to your child as well. By trying to hide your emotions, your child will feel as though she is alone in the way that she feels, according to Moira Anderson Allen, M.Ed. Allen also states that you should never tell your child to "stop crying" and never tell your child what she's supposed to feel.

3. Explain to your child that although your beloved pet has passed on, he's still here in your hearts because you still have all of the happy memories of times that you've spent together.

4. Look through photo albums or grab some of the dog's toys and celebrate the memories that you have. Laughing and crying can be therapeutic.

5. Hold a ceremony for your pet. You can bury the pet or scatter it's ashes in its favorite spots. Plant flowers where the pet's remains or ashes were buried as a memorial. Have children write notes to the pet or find an item to bury with the pet.

Tips & Warnings

• Know that children may ask lots of questions. This is also part of the grieving process as they are searching for answers. The questions may get repetitive, but you should always remain consistent with your answers. There is no need to include lots of details in your explanation, just remain simple, gentle and truthful.

• Don't tell a child that a pet is simply "sleeping" as this can create some sort of confusion and even a fear of bed time. It shows that you are in denial about death and can cause problems for the child later.

References

• Pet Loss: Ten Tips on Coping with the Loss of a Pet
• Clinical Psychology Associates of North Central Florida: Coping with the Loss of a Pet
• Pet Place: Explaining Pet Loss to Children