How to Stop Being an Enabler...What is an Enabler
To enable means to...provide somebody with the resources, authority, or opportunity to do something. Do you ever feel as though you are being an "enabler" to a family member or friend who is stuck in an unhealthy cycle? Maybe your sister is on drugs or your friend is cheating on her husband. In any situation where you some how or in some way help provide someone with ways to continue on with an unhealthy life style, makes you an enabler.
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Instructions
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First off, in order to stop being an enabler, you must take a step back and clearly look at the situation. Understand everything that you are doing to enable this person's unhealthy behavior. Some people don't even realize that they are enabling someone, until another person mentions it.
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Second off, here are some examples of what it means to enable someone's behavior. In order to stop being an enabler, you must clearly understand that even the smallest of things can enable someone's unhealthy lifestyle.
* Giving your sister a ride to a friend's house where she is buying and or using drugs.
* Giving your friend money, knowing she may use it to go out and abuse alcohol.
* Letting your brother borrow your car, when you know he is using it to cheat on his girlfriend.
* Taking your friend with you to a party where you know he/she may have access to drugs, which he/she will not be able to say "no" to.
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Lastly, if you truly care about this person who is stuck in this unhealthy cycle, you must understand that it's okay to say "no." Will the person be angry at you for your decision to stop being an enabler? Most likely, "yes." However; in the long run, this person will know that you cared enough to say "no."
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Resources
- Photo Credit Emily Rogers
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Comments
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I suggest Margaret Chapman and Charles Ocheltree read about Enabling.
