How to Enhance Listening Skills

Listening is an acquired skill.

Unlike hearing, listening is a skill that requires concentration and memory. Our minds often wander while other people are talking. We think about what they're wearing, the weather outside, what we might cook for dinner or where to eat for lunch. In some cases we're only pretending to listen while really waiting for our turn to talk. In order to maximize business and personal interactions, it's important to learn how to listen.

Instructions

1. Look at the person speaking. Control your thoughts and stop your mind from wandering. Focus on the person's eyes and mouth; watch his facial expressions and body language. By watching the person speak, you pay closer attention to what he is saying and notice nonverbal cues, which elevates your level of communication.

2. Don't interrupt. Allow the person to finish speaking, even if you think you have something crucial to say. Frequently, if you remain quiet the person will unknowingly address the issue you had, eliminating the need for you to respond.

3. Summarize what the person is saying. Nod your head; say "uh huh," or "I understand." Every once in a while, recap by saying "So what you're saying is...," or "This is what I'm hearing..."

4. Ask questions. This helps clarify the speaker's ideas and intentions to ensure what she said and what you heard are one and the same. This is especially effective in high-tension situations; before responding to how the speaker's words make you feel, clarify what the speaker really meant.

5. Relax and remain present. Stress and multitasking are huge listening barriers. Remind yourself that there are enough hours in the day to get everything done; if there aren't, letting your mind wander won't get your to-do list checked off any faster. Take a deep breath. Remind yourself that your only responsibility in this moment is to listen.

6. Practice listening to your spouse, children, friends, neighbors and coworkers. Don't gloss over conversations or let any uttered sentences escape your radar. Make it a new habit to pay attention.

References

• Mind Tools: Active Listening
• Womens Media: How to Improve Listening Skills
• Sideroad: Improve Your Listening Skills Even When You Don't Want to Listen