How to Resolve Conflict in a Marriage

Of course, there will be disagreements in any marriage. The key is how you resolve them. Do it right and your marriage will grow stronger and deeper by the day.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Couples Counseling
• Greeting Cards
• Marriage Counseling
• Flowers
• Champagne
• Accountants

1. Separate complaints, which can be destructive, from constructive criticism, which you can learn from and build upon.

2. Understand your spouse's emotional needs. Listen to what your spouse is saying, but also try to understand why he or she is saying it.

3. Learn to communicate nondefensively and nonaggressively. Presenting facts or feelings in a neutral manner helps avoid escalation.

4. Stay calm and be direct. Be truthful with your spouse and with yourself. What are you really feeling?

5. Keep studying those first four steps. Practice makes perfect. And perfecting your marriage is worth all the practice you can put into it.

Tips & Warnings

• Practice conflict resolution with small matters, such as picking out silverware, before moving up to complex, possibly disharmonious decisions such as choosing pets and naming children.

[mj17]

on 6/23/2009 I like what anonymous said. Yes, its true. Let your spouse chill out before starting to compromise. My husband and i do that, though I'm quite a negotiator. Thanks for the tip!

[Hode]

on 1/13/2009 Good advice. If you recorded your conversation while you are upset and then analyzed it later you would find that you really don't mean all the exagerated words and phrases, like never and always and every... This takes practice, like you say. Thanks

[Ashwini23]

on 7/4/2008 Hi,

If you want Good information about marriage so, come on at www.marryagain.in

[BarryWaite]

on 10/9/2007 Great general tips and good feedback from others. Concerning the truth setting you free, I've found that understanding your personality and your mates helps you find the common frame of references you need for effective communication and happier relationships.

[u2beal999]

on 2/14/2007 This article doesn't really seem to help with true conflict resolution. The tip in particular made me feel like the article was written in farce. resolve conflict by choosing silverware? If a couple are having trouble picking silverware out together, then possibly they should give their relationship a good look before tying the knot.