How to Improve Communication With Your Spouse

Improve communication in your marriage.

Improving communication with your spouse can produce dramatic changes in all aspects of your relationship. It is easy to fall into a pattern of bottling up feelings and resenting your spouse for not acting the way you want him to. There are several ways that you can open up the lines of communication between you and your spouse.

Instructions

1. Do not expect your spouse to be a mind reader. All too often, you assume that your spouse should know you well enough to know when you are upset and to know exactly what you want out of a situation. When she fails to do what you want, this leads to a host of problems. Honestly telling your spouse what is on your mind allows the both of you to clearly communicate your feelings and desires to each other. Doing so on a regular basis can eliminate a lot of problems born from assumption.

2. Do not make assumptions about what your spouse is thinking either, according to Dr. Michael Tobin of Whole Family. Assumptions can lead to unnecessary conflict. You might find yourself getting angry about something that is not even the case.

3. Allow each other the opportunity to express feelings and opinions without interruption. It is difficult for a person to feel like his spouse hears him if his wife constantly interrupts.

4. Practice your communication skills. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints recommends having two one-hour talks a week without interruption. The busy lives of modern society often create difficulties in achieving quality one-on-one communication in a marriage.

5. Express your anger or resentment toward your partner with honestly and without blame or accusation. According to Tobin, most people resort to silence, which clearly does nothing to improve communication. Getting comfortable with expressing your anger will make it easier to talk things out when problems arise. This is a more effective communication strategy than giving the silent treatment. Tobin also notes this open communication will keep smaller issues from escalating into major problems.

References

• Whole Family: Ten Things to Never Do in a Marriage
• Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints: Share Open, Honest Communication with Your Spouse